The Secret of Unlocking What You're Capable Of

In this episode of Hell Yes Habits, Elyse Bushard discusses the importance of breaking out of autopilot and prioritizing self-care. She emphasizes that putting oneself first is not selfish but essential for personal well-being and the ability to serve others effectively. Elyse shares actionable tips for creating small habits that lead to a fulfilling life, encouraging listeners to choose one way to prioritize themselves each day. The conversation is filled with insights on how to cultivate energy, joy, and presence in everyday life.

Takeaways

• This podcast is about ditching the just fine mindset.
• It's important to show up for yourself in meaningful ways.
• Pouring from an empty cup leads to burnout.
• The best gift you can give is your fullest self.
• Putting yourself first is not selfish; it's sacred.
• You need to create energy and joy to serve others best.
• Choose one way to prioritize yourself each day.
• Your happiness matters in every moment.
• This practice takes intentionality and awareness.
• Change happens one habit at a time.

#HellYesHabits #Happiness #PersonalDevelopment #SelfCare

Transcript

Elyse Bushard (00:06)
welcome to Hell Yes Habits. I'm Elise, a marketing professional by day and your go-to coach for building the habits that create a life you can't wait to wake up to. I'm so glad you're here. This podcast is all about ditching the just fine mindset and making room for the magic in your everyday life. And let me tell you, this isn't just a podcast. It's the start of a movement, a Hell Yes Habits movement.

It's about breaking out of autopilot, showing up for yourself in ways that matter, and creating small but powerful habits that lead to a big, bold, hell yes kind of life. Each week, we'll have real, honest conversations about juggling all the things, career, relationships, family, and those moments when you just need you time. I'll share actionable tips, lessons from my own journey,

and inspiration to help you stop settling and start thriving, baby. You in?, let's do this.

Elyse Bushard (01:16)
Hello, hello, welcome back to Helly Us Habits. I took a spontaneous break ⁓ for a couple of weeks just to realign and honestly, I've been going through a tough season of change and yeah, so you didn't know you were getting a break, but welcome back to Helly Us Habits. ⁓ And today,

I'm just gonna get right into it because you guys, I'm sure we're like, where'd she go? ⁓ And I just poof, disappeared. But again, I don't do this for money, at least not at the present time. And I don't do this, I literally just do this because it was on my heart to start a podcast for a long time and I love this community and I wanna be consistent with it. And I wanna tie it into

whatever I'm experiencing, because it actually helps me to talk through things. So here we are, welcome back again. Again, today we're diving into something that might sound uncomfortable. It sounds uncomfortable to me, ⁓ at first, but it's one of the most powerful truths I've ever learned, and that is you don't know what you're capable of if you don't put yourself first.

And I know that I'm talking to a lot of overachievers on here, ⁓ high achievers, and we have multiple things that we are focused on at once. ⁓ And so, and we have multiple passions and multiple things that we are trying to do, but we also tend to put other people before ourselves. And...

If you're like me, if you're anything like me, that probably feels a little selfish to say out loud. And for so long, I thought that putting myself last was the quote unquote right thing to do. And that being the helper, the giver, the one who always showed up for everyone else first, that was my identity. And I don't know if anyone else feels that, like, I...

did that for a long time and it's only been in the past like two or three years that I've realized that showing up for myself first is actually more important. And because here's the problem, when you constantly pour out of your cup, but you never refill, people don't get the best of you. They get the rest of you. And the rest of you, that's...

that's tired and burnt out and snappy and resentful or just on autopilot. Like you're not present and you're just on autopilot. But when you start putting yourself first, you unlock a version of yourself that is fuller, happier, more vibrant, more creative, more alive. And that's the version of you that people love.

and need. It's not that other version of you that is pouring from an empty cup. ⁓ And you'll notice too, when you are that person, people will gravitate towards you. So let me put it this way, the best gift that you can give to the world, your family, your friends, your partner, your team, your clients, is not a worn down depleted you. It's the fullest happiest you.

Because think about it, when you're rested, when you've taken time to move your body, whatever that looks like for you. Today, for instance, I'm obsessed right now with ⁓ this dance fitness class. It's called Fly Dance Fitness. mostly because it's to music that either I listened to growing up or it's just, it's to hip hop music. So it's like hip hop dancing, but it is a good workout.

I'm telling you. And so I try and do that at least once a week. But anyways, that was like a side tangent. Back to this. you move your body, when you filled your mind with things that light you up, for instance, that is something that not only am I moving my body, but it lights me up. Like it makes me so excited. That is actually why you're getting a podcast from me today. Because I just like,

I'm overflowing with joy from that class because it lit me up not only because it's exercise and scientifically exercise makes you happier, the adrenaline, the everything, but like it feels, because it just brings a smile to my face to dance to these songs. And so when you've filled up your, when you've moved your body, when you've filled up your mind with things that let you up.

When you've said yes to yourself, you show up differently. You listen better in conversations. You laugh easier. You handle stress with more grace. And you're just more present in conversations. You're more patient. You're more you. And again, I've said this in other podcasts, but there is no other you. There is no other you with the same passions, with the same personality.

And that is magic, all of that. And here's the hard truth though around that is you'll never know just how strong, capable, how magnetic, how impactful you can be if you keep putting yourself at the bottom of your own list. I'm gonna repeat that. You'll never know just how strong, capable,

magnetic, impactful you can be if you keep putting yourself at the bottom of your own list. Because right, we're choosing that. We're choosing to put others above us. And yes, that is an admirable quality to do sometimes, but doing it all the time is a disservice to you. And putting yourself first isn't about neglecting others also.

It's not an either or here. It's about creating the energy, joy, the wholeness that allows you to serve and love others at your best. So here's your heli-ass habit for today. Choose one way to put yourself first, just one, and do it just unapologetically. Today, that was for me. That was my dance class that I did today.

and that might carry me over through the rest of the week. Depending on how my week goes, sometimes I do go twice a week. ⁓ But it is a commitment, just side note, because I drive about an hour to get to this dance class. So it's legitimately like three hours out of my day. But again, these don't have to be like that type of commitment. They could be taking 30 minutes to move your body before answering texts.

⁓ Or emails it could be saying no to something that drains you that isn't a hell Yes, so you can have space for something that excites you because again, we can't do everything for everyone we think we can but we can't and Us needs to be at the top of that list and it could also just be if like all of these are like Too much it could be sitting

in quiet with your coffee before you scroll on social media or ⁓ getting up in the morning before, if you have a family, getting up in the morning for 10 minutes before the chaos of the morning and you're getting everyone else ready, you have that time to yourself. For me also, it's listening to the Growth Day app that I've continued to talk about.

that has literally changed my life, but it helps me also put my personal development first so my mindset's right for the day. ⁓ Also, if that ever interests you, I have a free seven-day trial of that. ⁓ But it could be something quiet. It could also be carving out time for a hobby that is either new or something that you used to like that makes you just lose track of time. It could be doing a puzzle.

It could be scrapbooking, I don't know if people go scrapbook, but like ⁓ something like that ⁓ that you maybe used to enjoy, but it just like, like you love it so much that it's just joyful that you lose track of time. One, again, it's just one simple choice where you say, I matter, my energy matters and my happiness matters in this moment.

and then just watch what happens. Watch how the people around you don't just adjust, they actually benefit. They get the best of you and not the rest of you. And you'll start to see that putting yourself first isn't selfish. It's actually scared. Or sacred.

⁓ You'll start to see that putting yourself first isn't selfish. It's a sacred time. It is something that you look forward to and not only that, it just makes you feel good. And when you live from that place, you begin to see just how much you're actually capable of. Because when you give that time to yourself, you're able to amplify, like if you love helping people and...

and being there for others, you'll be able to amplify that because you took care of yourself first. I know it's innately something that, it's hard because it's hard to adjust your mindset to, well, no, I don't have time for that because I have to help this, this, and this person with this and this and someone else is going through this so I have to do this.

And then you see how our attention gets like smaller and smaller the more we add. And then we're in the background, like just drained. Cause again, you're only one person. when you, again, so today just ask yourself, I want you to think about what's one way I can give myself

the best of me so I can give others the best of me too. And that is a quote that I wrote on a sticky and I have on my mirror. But because if you think about it, the world doesn't need a burnt out version of you. It needs the lit up hell yes version of you. And that's how we change everything.

It's so simple, but again, it takes practice. This isn't something, it's something you have to intentionally do and be aware of yourself. Because something that depletes me might energize someone else. So you just have to be aware of how certain things make you feel. If going out to lunch with one person and you know that it's the type of person

that, like, I mean, we all have people like this in our life. When we go to lunch with them, and it doesn't, it isn't like it fills our cup up. You know that they're in a bad place, maybe. Maybe they're going through a rough time, and you have to listen and give advice, and you're just give, give, giving. ⁓ By the way, if this is happening all the time with certain people in your life, you...

should reevaluate that relationship in your life. But like we all go through hard seasons where we all need to show up for people in different ways. And, but like if I know that I'm gonna go to lunch with that type of person, I know she's going, he or she is going through a rough time right now. Before I go, I'm gonna work out for 30 minutes or I'm gonna go for a walk or.

I'm gonna take the long way to lunch so I can jam out in my card in 90s and 2000s hip hop, right? So like, just being aware of those things can alter like the fact that you were there for yourself for 30 minutes helps you show up for that version that they need.

in whatever hard time they're going through. And it doesn't complete, like it might drain you a little bit, but it's not gonna completely drain you because you already did something for yourself and your energy is up and you, I don't know. Does this rambling make sense? I feel like it's something again that you're just gonna have to be aware and work on. And if you want more ideas of like how this could show up in your life, my inbox is always open.

You can text me in the show notes and also DM me. Let me know what resonated with you. And I will try and warn you if I ever take breaks from this again. But I'm happy to be back and I hope you guys are doing well. ⁓ And let's create this hell yes habit together and choose one way to put yourself first.

Just one, and just do it unapologetically. Show up as your best self because people will notice around you and you'll notice. It just won't feel as depleting. ⁓ Because again, that's how we change everything one habit at a time. Love you guys, and let's do this together.