Why You Weren't Made to Fit in and You Were Made to Feel Fulfilled

In this episode of "Hell Yes Habits," Elyse Bushard explores the journey to true happiness by focusing on self-discovery rather than societal expectations. Elyse shares personal insights and challenges listeners to identify what genuinely makes them feel fulfilled. Happiness isn't about fitting in or following trends. Discovering what makes you feel like yourself is key. The difference between belonging and becoming. The importance of choosing alignment over approval. Personal challenge: Identify what makes you feel most like you.

Challenge: Ask yourself, "What makes me feel most like me?" and take steps towards that.

#HellYesHabits #TrueHappiness #SelfDiscovery

If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who needs a reminder that they don't need to fit in to belong. Keep choosing you, and happiness will follow.

Transcript

Elyse Bushard (00:01.56)
Hey friends, welcome back to Hell Yes Habits, the podcast that helps you build a life that feels like a hell yes from the inside out. And that's what we're going to talk about today. I'm your host, Elyse. If you're new here, welcome. If you're back, thank you. Today's episode is a gentle reminder to me and to you, hopefully, that maybe is even a little bit of a gut check.

But this is one that I needed for myself this week. And so I thought I'd share, because you know that's what I'm all about here, is being authentic and real and helping people and myself live a hell yes life. And this is, like I said, a reminder that I needed for myself this week.

And that is that finding what makes you truly happy isn't about seeing, doing, or having what makes you feel like you belong. I'm gonna say that one more time. Finding what makes you truly happy isn't about seeing, doing, or having what makes you feel like you belong. And really it's about discovering, sometimes rediscovering.

What makes you feel like you? And yeah, like I want you to let that sink in for a second because...

If we're real for a moment and a minute, so much of our world tells us happiness is about fitting in, about matching a mood board, milestones, taking a certain supplement, or achieving a certain aesthetic. And what happens is we scroll, we compare, we mimic, and suddenly we're chasing things we don't even want.

Elyse Bushard (02:10.413)
jobs, outfits, routines, vibes, all because they signal belonging. And we think once we find that belonging, we will be happy. And we confuse that flicker of being accepted with a fire of being aligned. But here's the thing that no one says enough. Belonging isn't the same as becoming.

Belonging isn't the same as becoming. Because when you're trying to fit in, you're actually just shape-shifting to earn approval. But when you're becoming more aware of yourself, you start to glow. You start to attract joy and energy and people who get you because they're seeing the real you. And it's not always loud.

And it's not always curated, but it is peaceful and it is powerful. So let me ask you something. When was the last time you did something just because it made you smile? Not because it would look good on stories, not because someone else was doing it, but just because you loved doing it. That's a hell yes habit.

That is what we're all about here. And I needed this reminder this week because I'm all about trying new things. And if I get an inkling to try something new and try something that is, that has been on my heart for a little bit just to see if I like it, I'm all about that. That's not really what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is when there's something new,

that you wanna try, but the reason you wanna try it is because you saw someone else do it and they looked happy. But if you really ask yourself, it isn't something that you are actually interested in doing. And leaning into what actually brings you joy, even if no one claps for it, even if you don't get like someone

Elyse Bushard (04:30.908)
being like you're doing a good job, and even if it doesn't make sense to your friends or even your family or your followers on Instagram, even if it's quiet or weird or simple, you weren't made to fit in, friends. You were made to feel fulfilled. And I wasn't made to fit in to a mold.

and I was made to feel fulfilled. Like it's something that you can repeat. So today, your challenge is this. Ask yourself, what makes me feel most like me? I'm actually going to do this this weekend. I'm saying it out loud, because hopefully everyone can keep me accountable if you do this with me. I would love that. But I want to ask myself, what makes me feel most like me?

And maybe it's dancing in your kitchen or your car to 2000s hip hop, like I do. Maybe it's getting up early to walk with your phone, without your phone, sorry, with your phone, without your phone and just be like outside. Maybe it's writing or painting or laughing so hard that you snort or your belly hurts or you cry. Maybe it's doing less.

not more. Maybe you've been living by your to-do list like me and tying your worth to your to-do list and crossing things off and it's not making you feel fulfilled at all because that's where I'm at. Whatever it is though, go toward that and do more or do less of that, whatever that is.

Because real happiness isn't about being seen doing the right things. There is no quote-unquote right things. Like, unless you're looking at society who's telling us, or this person you follow on Instagram that is using this magical pill or supplement that they claim is tied to their happiness. Which, by the way, there is no happy juice, happy pill.

Elyse Bushard (06:54.154)
The happiness needs to come from inside of you.

You need to stop auditioning for someone else's life and start living your own. Because the version of you who chooses alignment over approval, she's the one building a life that feels like a hell yes.

pausing for a minute because that I'm going to repeat that because the version of you who chooses alignment over approval she's the one building a life she or he is the one building a life that feels like a hell yes so are you in are you gonna do this with me I even find it hard I am I am a person with people not people pleasing tendencies but

I like to help people. It's a part of my identity and it doesn't actually, it's not a problem until like I put people before myself at all. Like I'm not even putting myself at an even level. And that's what's been happening in my life lately is that I have been putting other people before me and other

and other people's needs, I'm thinking like that is filling up my cup to help other people when really it's just emptying my cup and then I feel empty. In fact, episode two of Hell Yes Habits, if you wanna go back, this is like episode 30 something, so if you wanna go back, is literally about that. So I might actually listen to myself, give myself a lesson in this because that's what I'm feeling lately.

Elyse Bushard (08:52.593)
And I'm not building a life that feels like a hell yes right now. I honestly am not. And it's because I am not choosing something that's aligned for me at all. Like I'm not even making space for it. So yeah, like it's crazy and simple, but like happiness isn't belonging, it's becoming.

choosing things because someone else told you it was the greatest thing possible. Yes, if you're curious, try something for the first time. That's not what I'm saying at all. What I'm saying is that if you're choosing something and the reason is because it worked for someone else and that's it, then that's when you need to realign and be like, well, maybe this isn't for me. Like, why am I?

Why am I trying to be something that I'm not? Because that's when you get further and further away from happiness. Your true happiness. And only you know what happiness means and feels like. And so yeah, I know it was a short, sweet episode, but this is what was on my heart. I'm also in real time recording this, if you're listening to this in real time.

I'm recording this on a Saturday, which again, yesterday it was not my happiness to film a podcast. And so I decided not to. But here I am, I'm still showing up every week, maybe not on Friday, but weekly podcasts are something I commit to and it does bring me happiness, but I also wasn't feeling like something was on my heart.

until I like processed it yesterday because I felt off. And so if I feel off, you don't want that energy coming through your phone or your computer, wherever you're listening to this. And so yeah, thanks for being here. And if this episode hit home, know, send it to someone who needs the reminder that they don't need to fit in to belong. And...

Elyse Bushard (11:17.83)
I'm sure there's someone in your life other than yourself who could benefit from this message. And really, you're just sending it to them as a friend, as someone who you care about, and they just need to come home to themselves. So I hope that's what this episode felt like for you as well. See you next time, fam, and remember, just keep choosing you.

first and happiness will follow. Love ya!