Both Can Be True: Riding the Highs, Navigating the Lows, & Leaning into a New Tool (Your JOY List)

In this episode of Hell Yes Habits, Elyse Bushard explores the complexities of human emotions, emphasizing the duality of feeling both high and low simultaneously. She introduces the concept of a 'joy list' as a tool to combat overthinking and emotional whiplash, encouraging listeners to identify and engage in activities that bring them joy. Elyse shares personal anecdotes and practical tips for creating a joy list, highlighting the importance of self-compassion and the acceptance of one's emotional spectrum. The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to embrace their unique joy and share their experiences.

#HellYesHabits #JoyList #Overthinking #Awareness #FindJoy

Transcript

Elyse Bushard (00:06)
welcome to Hell Yes Habits. I'm Elyse, a marketing professional by day and your go-to coach for building the habits that create a life you can't wait to wake up to. I'm so glad you're here. This podcast is all about ditching the just fine mindset and making room for the magic in your everyday life. And let me tell you, this isn't just a podcast. It's the start of a movement, a Hell Yes Habits movement.

It's about breaking out of autopilot, showing up for yourself in ways that matter, and creating small but powerful habits that lead to a big, bold, hell yes kind of life. Each week, we'll have real, honest conversations about juggling all the things, career, relationships, family, and those moments when you just need you time. I'll share actionable tips, lessons from my own journey,

and inspiration to help you stop settling and start thriving, baby. You in?, let's do this.

Elyse Bushard (01:16)
Hey friends, welcome back to another episode of Hell Yes Habits. ⁓ You know what we're all about here. This is the podcast that's all about helping you find magic, laugh through the chaos that is either laugh at me or with me. I don't know. And remember that you're just, you're awesome. You're made for more. And we are here to create Hell Yes Habits for a Hell Yes life.

⁓ Once again, I'm Elise. ⁓ If you don't know me, this is your first episode. Welcome. Also, I apologize, but you get what you get with me. yeah, today, I'm, I'm here to be real with you because this podcast idea came to me literally from inspiration ⁓ from Instagram and people I follow and

it happened to tie perfectly into what has been going on in my life. So I was like, well, here we are. ⁓ I was going to chat about something else, which I might save for another episode, but here we are. And I want to talk about today, something that again is so real because I'm going through it right now, but also just something that's overlooked as well. And how

It's crazy that sometimes you feel like on top of the damn world and then either 30 minutes later, a week later, a few days later, a month later, you're spiraling in fear, worry, or overthinking and insecurities and all of the above. And here's really the truth is that both can be true and

It's like the power of and so that's kind of what we're going to dive into is essentially the duality of being human. ⁓ But let's get real for a second. You know that I feel like I say that at least once every episode that this is probably the one of the realest podcasts because I am hot mess express. And ⁓ for example, like one minute you're crushing like

Like I can be crushing my to-do list, vibing in an outfit that I love. Maybe I've had my coffee. Some of you might drink coffee. I only drink coffee on the weekends or when I go to Starbucks. And that's not really coffee, let's be honest, that's sugar. ⁓ So like maybe you've had your coffee, your, ⁓ I have these morning peptides that I've been taking.

these natural peptides ⁓ for energy or tea. Sometimes I have like black tea or green tea. ⁓ But anyways, everything's hitting right. Your playlist in your car is just like perfect. ⁓ If you're like me, I listen to 90s or 2000s hip hop. And let's just say they're playing like song after song. Like it's a good day when I'm driving to work.

and I hear like ⁓ the way you move by outcast if you know that song. It's one of my favorites. But also if you don't know that song and it came out before you were born, don't tell me. ⁓ But anyways, so one moment you're crushing it essentially, you feel like you're crossing things off your to-do list, your outfit feels amazing.

⁓ Maybe you've had your coffee and it just hits right in your playlist is bumping in the car and you're like, yes, this is the version of me that like feels good, right? And you're like cruising along and then bam, no, a bus doesn't hit you. But out of nowhere, like intrusive thoughts hit. ⁓ Like, did I say the wrong thing in that meeting or to my friend in that text or why haven't they texted me back?

Why? Like why, and you start obsessing and spiraling. What if everything falls apart? What if like the world ends? and anyways, I call this moment, this collective moment, the emotional whiplash. ⁓ And again, that can happen within like the same day. It could happen within the same week. It could happen in the same month.

and you're just like, what the F? But the crazy thing is, especially for women, and I'm not gonna dive into hormones, because I don't actually know a lot about hormones, and I'm trying to figure out my own shit with hormones, but it's an emotional whiplash. And the crazy thing is that it's normal. Like, it's normal to feel this and this. Like, we're complex. We're not robots.

and we're not built to be steady all the time. We're emotional, we're evolving humans. ⁓ And especially women, like I said, living in a world that often tells us to just be positive or power through. But guess what? You can feel grateful and anxious. You can be confident and unsure, and you can be hopeful and scared. It's the power of and.

And so when you're feeling one, don't be surprised if you're also feeling the other. ⁓ Both can be true. ⁓ So, but you're like, okay, great. Yes, I get it. Like I've experienced this. I get that you can do this and this, but what do you do when that overthinking hits? And I am a perpetual,

I don't know if that's right word. Yeah, perpetual over-thinker. ⁓ I definitely catch myself slipping into a place of fear over analyzing things and spiraling. ⁓ And I'm aware of it more than I have been before. Like I don't necessarily act on it. It doesn't mean I don't think about it or I don't think that way at all, because that would be a lie. But like I'm aware of it now when I start.

going down that path. But it's not actually the solution isn't to actually fix it immediately. It's about meeting yourself with compassion when you're in those spirals or overthinking or over analyzing things that you shouldn't shouldn't be doing but like it happens. It's it's a truth of all of us and

That is when this is going to sound ridiculous, but don't turn me off just yet. I swear I have some good nuggets for you. ⁓ But it's where a joy list comes in. And now I don't like this can mean something different to anyone. It doesn't have to be written down. ⁓ It can just be in your mind. ⁓ But if you've never like followed me on it, I think I've talked about this.

multiple times on my ⁓ Instagram. If you do not follow me, at Elise Bechard is my handle. It's also in the show notes. You can find me on there. ⁓ I've talked about this joy list before, and it's basically like a go-to rescue kit, and it's a simple list of intentional hell yes things.

that bring me back to life. And again, this can be different for everyone. This could be written down. It could be in your mind. But these are, it's not like book of a, it's not like a bucket list. It's like a, like I can, like a resource list. That's why I kind of use that. It's like a rescue kit because when you're in these spirals, you sometimes need to double down.

on this joy list. so it's not like, again, it's not like a big like book of vacation, because I want a book of vacation all the time, but like, I don't do that all the time. And so it's not something I can, I can just do to get an instant like dopamine hit, if you will. ⁓

I'm talking about the little moments that ground you and light you up. ⁓ So let me share some examples of what this is on my list, and maybe it'll give you some ideas of what could be on your list. ⁓ I've said it already, but blasting 90s and 2000s hip hop or R &B, either in my house, in my kitchen, ⁓

or in the car is one of my favorite things to do. While I'm cooking, if I'm in the kitchen, but while I'm driving, I love, like it's like therapy for me to rap, especially to like, if I'm angry about something, Eminem just has that like, and so I just blare him and I know every word and it just, it makes everything better. I can't explain it, but that's one of mine.

⁓ A walk outside, ⁓ listening to either a podcast or sometimes just walking, just nature and my thoughts and kind of processing things. ⁓ I do also love ⁓ lighting a candle ⁓ that either smells good or like it just makes the house, I don't know, it smells good, it's cozy. ⁓

And then I also love to write. I'm a crazy person, like, if I didn't love to write, you'd question what my job is because I write for clients. I work for a marketing agency and I write and strategize all of their content. But I also just like writing for fun. I like putting pen to paper. So when I can write for fun and not work,

and reflect on things. ⁓ That is also on my joy list. ⁓ Texting a friend or family member or someone I haven't talked to in a long time and just to say hi and telling them why I'm grateful for them in my life. ⁓ It's amazing how good it can feel and what a dopamine hit you get from ⁓ giving someone else a compliment. ⁓

and helping them feel better. helps you feel better. It's just like a joy sandwich, if you will. ⁓ Also, ⁓ working out. I don't think it's a surprise to me, if you know me, ⁓ that lifting weights or doing even like a hard hitting cardio workout, I don't like doing it in the moment, but the after effects of that, it's definitely on my joy list. ⁓

A new thing that actually I'm probably going to make a whole podcast about, ⁓ but is that I started doing things that I used to enjoy as a kid. And one of those things is basketball. I actually last weekend, this is in real time, I picked up a basketball again for I don't know how long it's been. And I went to a park and I was actually scared to do it. don't, can't tell you why.

I think it's because I used to love it and I wasn't sure if I would be good at it anymore. It mattered. was freaking in a park by myself. like, I don't know. Again, I was overthinking, but like I did it and I was like, this is great. Now I can do, like I added that to my joy list. So like it's doing things, like backtracking and thinking of like what used to be fun if you're having trouble.

with like coming up, like even going back to like when you were a kid or in high school or in middle school or in thinking of the things you used to love to do and trying them again, that is another way to create things on your joy list. Once again, these are like tiny acts of self-connection. So they can even be one of, another one of mine, if you'd like to know. I love musical theater.

things and movies. And so I will blast the greatest showman and wicked in my house and clean on a Saturday. And I cannot tell you, I think it's the combination of cleaning and of those songs and singing them at the top of my lungs because I don't really have neighbors. I live like in the middle of nowhere. anyway, ⁓ if you ever wonder what I'm doing on a Saturday.

morning it is probably that. ⁓ But again these don't require like a productivity hack, something on your checklist. It just helps you reconnect to the present and the joy and the real you underneath all the noise and the overthinking. ⁓ So I could go on and on but those are

some of the old and new things that I've added to my joy list. And those will also evolve and change. They're not always the same. ⁓ And so, yes, I feel like now you're like, okay, those are examples. Like, how do I do that? Here's specific questions, I guess, that you could ask. Because I do want to challenge you to make your own joy list.

And again, this can be writing it down, brainstorming. This could be typing it in your phone to reference when you're going, when you're aware that you are overthinking something or over analyzing something. ⁓ But like don't overthink the joy list as well because it literally is asking yourself what brings you joy. And if you don't know that answer, find something, try something new, find something. But

Here's a few questions that maybe could spark something is what lights you up with no agenda attached to it. So again, this isn't going to be work related, most likely. What grounds you when the fear gets loud? ⁓ And what feels like you, even if it makes zero sense to anyone else? Like,

I don't want you to pick things that look good on paper or to other people. I literally want you to look in the mirror and be like, what feels like me? But like, if I tried to explain it to someone else, they would not understand. They don't need to understand. This is your joy list and you don't need to share it with people either. That's not what I'm saying. But, ⁓

Again, I do encourage you to either write them down, keep them somewhere visible, like write them down and put them on your wall, again on your phone so you can like go back to it. Because when you're in that low moment, you're not gonna remember what helps you. Because when you're overthinking or you're spiraling and over analyzing something, your brain's gonna be like, nope.

nothing will ever be okay again. And it's like dramatic. And anyway, you need that list ⁓ ready to go. And your joy list, it isn't like a luxury. It's just a tool, a tool that you can use. ⁓ And it's a habit. It's like literally a compass when emotional waves and overthinking it feels like too much.

in your life. So yeah, it's a simple concept, but the joy list. But both can be true, right? I want to also normalize that like, last week, you wouldn't have wanted to talk to me. I'm just saying. And this week, I felt like a completely different person. Now, scientifically and biologically and medically, I do think there is something wrong with my hormones.

I don't know what it is, but I'm in the process of figuring that out. But on the flip side of that, ⁓ when I am in those moments, I double down on things that make me feel good on that joy list. ⁓ And I keep adding to it because as you evolve and change, what brings you happiness evolves and change. And that is also okay. But I, again,

I want to normalize this feeling the high and the low in the same breath, same week, same day and being excited and anxious, wanting more and feeling scared to go after it ⁓ because you're not broken and you're just human. And in those messy in between moments, lean into joy, tiny intentional moments of joy.

Because those are the habits that build a hell yes life. That joy list is a list of habits that can help you through things. It's a tool. ⁓ But also, it's okay. We're all human and we all have multiple feelings, especially as a woman. I don't think I can even count in.

like men in this talk, although if there is men listening to this, ⁓ like that's, I don't feel like you understand the level that all of this is, but I do think this can apply to anyone. I think that everyone should have like some sort of joy list or habit list that you can lean on that is simple and brings you joy.

that you can double down on in those moments. And you can bet I do that on a weekly basis when I'm feeling off. ⁓ I go for a walk. I listen to 90s, 2000s hip hop. I put on Wicked or The Greatest Showman because I know that those things will bring me joy whether or not people understand it or not. ⁓ Because it's all about

creating joy for yourself. Like who wants to go through life feeling feeling bad? Like we all want to be happier. And so these little moments can help with that. ⁓ But I'm going to close with that. And that's it. If this episode hit home for you, though, ⁓ or you're starting to create your joy list and you want more help.

Creating it you want any tips around that DM me you can text me also on ⁓ In the show notes, there's a text number you can ask me questions ⁓ but also share this with a friend ⁓ and Who you know, maybe is riding like the roller coaster of life too, and you think this would be helpful ⁓ Tag me in it

And if you're starting to make your joy list and you're inspired, tag me in your stories. I wanna see what's lighting you up, what you're doing. But until next time, keep choosing joy and keep choosing you. Love ya, friends.

Elyse Bushard (22:32)
If any part of this podcast gave you a hell yes moment, I would absolutely love to hear from you. You know here at Hell Yes Habits, we're all about finding what makes you feel good and turning your everyday habits into hell yes habits. We're building a community rooted in connection and growth and your voice is a huge part of that. If this episode was helpful for you, it would mean the world to me if you shared it.

on your Instagram stories and tagged me at Elise Bechard. Not only so I can thank you personally, but to help spread the word about this Hell Yes Habits movement. Thanks for hanging out with me today and I'll catch you next time. Let's keep creating those habits that light you up and build the life you deserve. Until then, go make it a Hell Yes Day.