Bodies, Bikinis & Bullsh*t: Reclaiming Your Confidence When You Don't Feel Like You

In this episode of the Hell Yes Habits podcast, Elyse Bushard dives deep into the struggles of body image and the mindset shifts necessary for self-acceptance. She discusses the societal pressures women face regarding their bodies, especially during swimsuit season, and emphasizes the importance of self-connection over self-judgment. Elyse shares practical habits to foster a healthier relationship with one's body, encouraging listeners to prioritize their mental well-being and embrace their unique journeys.

Takeaways

• We're all on a journey to find what lights us up.
• The struggle with body image is common, especially for women.
• Comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy and despair.
• Your worth is not determined by your body size or shape.
• Confidence comes from rewriting your own story, not fitting a mold.
• It's okay to feel disconnected from your body; it's a human experience.
• Practicing self-kindness can help improve body image.
• Detoxing your social media feed can positively impact your mindset.
• Moving your body should be about love, not punishment.
• Choosing memories over mirrors can lead to a more fulfilling life.

#BodyImage #HellYesHabits #SelfAcceptance #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth

Transcript

Elyse Bushard (00:01)
Hello, hello, what the heck is up? Hey friend, welcome back to Hell Yes Habits podcast. The place where we get real about habits, but more than habits, mindset, the messy middle of building a life that actually feels just like you. Like you wanna wake up in the morning and live your life. I feel like we're all on this journey to find

what lights us up and that is different for everyone. So in this podcast, you'll get a variety of things. ⁓ Right now, currently, you will get me sitting on my bed with a packed suitcase on a Wednesday because I get back from my trip on Friday. So I am pre-recording this. But I...

Yeah, I'm going to Vegas, if you all care. If you want to follow me on Instagram and care about my personal life, ⁓ I feel like I integrated enough into this. if you want to know the nitty gritty of that, ⁓ I'm going to Vegas ⁓ to see Kenny Chesney at the Spear. And I am super duper pumped. One, because I need a break. I need a break from work. I need to unplug. I need to reset.

and, me, and it's, yeah, it couldn't come at a better time. But today I actually, I had an idea for a podcast and then I think I'm going to do that one next week because, excuse me, I swallowed my own spit wrong. I love when that happens. ⁓ but today I wanted to,

It happened to me when I was packing, another idea came to me and I'm gonna get a little like we're diving into something vulnerable because that's what we're about here. We're about talking about sometimes the hard stuff and figuring that out and something that I feel like a lot of us carry quietly, especially this time of year. And I was going through this as I was packing and

these thoughts, like as thoughts do, they crept up on me, that feeling like when you're trying on a swimsuit, you look in the mirror and you question, you're like, whose body is this? And it doesn't feel like me. Like it doesn't feel like me on the inside. Like it doesn't match. Not that it's not a perfect size. I'm not talking about being a perfect size.

If you know me, I'm pretty large and in charge. ⁓ I'm a plus size for sure. I have been all my life. But I'm talking more about the fact that how we feel in our mindset, when we look in the mirror, it doesn't align. ⁓ And again, that's physically, yes. But more than that, it's just your mindset. You're like,

That isn't the way that I feel, and they don't match. So this episode is for women who's scrolling through Instagram thinking, I should look like that. The woman whose body has changed maybe from stress, kids, hormones, grief, or just life. And the woman who wants to feel confident again, but isn't sure how to get there without beating herself up along the way.

So, wow, I know that was a lot. ⁓ But we're talking about just the real reason we struggle with body image ⁓ in adulthood and what no one tells you about quote unquote, bikini body culture and how to shift from self judgment to self connection with your body. ⁓ And really just hell yes habits to come home

your body and feel aligned even when it doesn't feel like yours yet. And I say yet because we all can reach goals. all, all of our bodies are different, but we all can reach the goals and feel good in our body and in our own skin. ⁓ So again, this is a lot, but like, you know how I am. When I get passionate about something, I want to share it with you all. So let's get into it.

Really, this isn't about swimsuits. It's just what sparked the idea for me is because trying on a swimsuit for me, it's and probably for the general population, you're probably going to see yourself in this. It's never about like the actual suit itself. It's about expectations I'm carrying, comparison loops like you didn't mean to fall into.

of your friends or your family members or who you're going on a trip with, for example, in my case, and the version of yourself you used to be and you miss. ⁓ And more than that, the shame that says you should look different to be worthy of joy or fun or take photos because there's a lot. Like there was a time in my life where I would like I hated photos of myself.

⁓ because I was like, that's not me. Like that's not the way that I feel. It's not because I was bigger. and I say that now because I've healed that relationship. But like, I, I'm sure some of you stare at pictures of yourself and you're like comparing yourself. But like, for me, it's like, that doesn't match the way that I personally feel outside of what other people are looking like. Other people in the picture, et cetera.

⁓ But the truth is bodies change, seasons change, and you change. And all of that is okay. And the culture that taught us to be small, literally and figuratively, ⁓ wants you to think that confidence is something you earn after you get smaller. ⁓ The media says that, commercials say that. Around this time of year, I hate the like, like,

quick fixes that come out that capitalize on the way that we're feeling if we're feeling insecure that summer is coming up and we have to wear shorts again or swimsuits or things like that. And it's all a freaking lie. You don't need to become someone else to belong in your body. And again, I'm just talking about you. You need to come back to yourself and

that just all starts with an awareness. so I want to get into a topic that I kind of alluded at the beginning is when you don't feel like you in your body or you're looking at a picture and you're like, that doesn't match the way that I feel. ⁓ So let's talk about that feeling. It feels disoriented and you look in the mirror and think that's not me. Maybe it's

It's weight gain or loss or inflammation or burnout. Maybe you've been grieving or surviving and your body's just changed because of life, because of seasons of your life. And that disconnect though, that feeling is valid and it's real. And it doesn't mean that you failed and it just means that you're human.

and your body is responding to life. When you feel disconnected from your body, things that you can remember and like I try to remember when I feel disconnected from my body or I start staring at pictures of myself is your worth didn't actually change. Your magic inside you and what makes you unique didn't go anywhere.

And you're not broken, you're just evolving. And again, that's okay.

And when I say all of this, you're like, great, but I still like, I don't have a healthy relationship with my body. And a big part of that is comparison. And that brings me to the stop comparing and despair cycle. You know, this one, I know this one too familiar to this one. You scroll on social media, you see her, her flat stomach.

It could even be someone you don't know in a commercial or her edited tan. Because again, the reason why that trend, the Instagram versus reality went so viral is because it's so real. Because what people show necessarily on Instagram, now if you follow me, and you should by the way, if you listen to this podcast, Elise Bouchard, E-L-Y-S-E-B-U-S-H-A-R-D ⁓ on Instagram,

I show all of the things. The moments when I choke on my own spit and the moments that are Instagram. You get everything and anything you want and everything in between. there's an Instagram that's right there. It's in front of your face.

She has a flat stomach, her edited tan, her perfect lighting, and your brain screams, why don't I look like that?

And here's what you need to remember when you start spiraling and having those thoughts. I still have those thoughts. I've gotten better at being like, no, like stopping it and being aware of it. But here's what you want to remember when you are spiraling. When you compare our behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel, even the women you're comparing yourself to, they're doing the same thing. No one

actually feels 100 % confident all the time. And if they do, they're lying. And your body isn't a trend. So confidence isn't about fitting into a standard. It's about rewriting your own unique story and standard. And number three is the goal isn't to love every inch, every day. The goal is just to respect it.

care and kindness and that's enough and give that to your body that's keeping you alive that is keeping you alive on this earth experiencing life like that is like my body i might not like certain parts of it right now but it's alive and breathing and my heart is beating and that is enough to get through a lot and think about

when you're spiraling like that. ⁓

And I'm sure you're like, great, ⁓ Elise, like, what does that mean, though? How do I, how do I develop that awareness? And I've been working on this a lot. ⁓ Like I said, I spent my entire life being bigger than my friends, some of my family, the people that I surround myself with, even people at work. And it's hard not to compare yourself, not to spiral. ⁓ But when I am aware of it,

is when it can change. So here's some hell yes habits to come home to your body if you will and just be aware. So ⁓ because you don't need another like I know none of us need another like love yourself Pinterest quote. ⁓ I want to give you just some tools. ⁓ so here are some things that I use that ⁓ I wrote these down because

⁓ I didn't want to forget anything that has come up, like even today when I was packing. ⁓ But the first concept is mere talk, not mere judgment. So every time you pass a mirror, say one kind thing about yourself. Not about your body, ⁓ but about your energy, your resilience, your joy, your persistence in something.

and rewire that conversation so that every time you look in the mirror, you're not tearing apart your body. Because when you tear apart your body physically, you tear apart your, like how you feel about yourself. And that triggers and trickles into your self-worth. ⁓ So that's number one. Mirror talk, not mirror judgment. Number two is get dressed for now, not then.

So wear what fits and feels good today and stop punishing yourself with goal clothes. I'm starting to do that right now. I'm going through my closet. And if you listen to my last week's episode, you should, by the way, if you haven't, it was a mind blowing concept that I heard on a podcast that I shared. But regardless, I'm cleaning out my closet right now. And there's so many things like jeans, especially that I kept because.

I'm gonna fit into those. am not... Let me just be honest here. I am not gonna fit into size 10 jeans ever again. I'm not. I don't actually want to. I want to feel good in my own skin, but that isn't... Like, I'm not gonna fit into size 10 jeans or 8 jeans that I wore in high school. Why the hell am I saving on...

or saving these. I have some from college too. was like, Elise, stop. Because it makes me feel bad. Like unconsciously, it makes me feel bad when I look in my closet. And who wants that? So wear what fits and feels good today and stop punishing yourself with goal clothes, quote unquote, because you deserve to feel comfortable and confident now and not 10 or 20 or 50 pounds from now.

⁓ Number three, that one's a big one by the way and one that I've been trying to work on. Number three, detox your feed. And you know when I say feed, I'm talking about social media. So unfollow anyone who triggers shame in you. So be aware of that. If you're scrolling and you're watching a reel or you have liked something in the past and it doesn't align with you anymore,

Unfollow. Unfollow. Fill your feed with things that lift you up, with diverse, empowering, real representations of bodies and normalize what that really looks like. I'll give you an example, like for me in particular. Body, ⁓ I was a body coach for five years, essentially, and I...

now have started to unfollow people who are either still using that because if you don't know, they dissolved the coaching program, but like it doesn't align with me anymore. And this like before and after thing and things like that, like those don't light me up anymore. They could light someone else up. I am not like discounting that like

that wouldn't motivate someone else. But for me right now, that doesn't motivate me. like fill your feed with diverse, empowering, real representations of bodies and things that make you feel good and normalize what real looks like when it comes to your feed. ⁓ So that's number three, detox your feed. Number four is move with love, not punishment.

So don't work out, like the reason you work out should not be to fix yourself. It should be to move to feel strong and grounded and alive. That shift, it changes fricking everything. So that's number four, move with love, not punishment. Number five is say it loud. Tell a friend, I'm struggling.

with how I feel in my body. And shame shrinks then and saves spaces. And it makes it so you don't feel alone in what you're struggling with. And again, I would like say it to people that you trust, that love you, that only want the best for you. And they might be able to motivate you and they might be able to

Listen to you or give tips to you. You don't know what will come out of that conversation, but don't be afraid to say it loud and Say what you're struggling with loud and be vulnerable and number six the last thing I know this is this is great, but also a lot ⁓ choose memories over Mirrors and what I mean by that is when you look back on this summer

Do you want to remember hiding under a towel? Or do you want to remember laughing in the sun with your people? Let yourself live and enjoy life no matter like in what stage you're at right now. So let me just review the hell yes habits that and maybe one or two resonate with you. I wouldn't try and do all of these at once.

⁓ Maybe you're like, yeah, you got really excited when I said one of these. That's the one you should focus on first. And then you can trickle this in, listen to this podcast again, or write down right now ⁓ these six ideas and trickle through them. Okay, so number one was mere talk, not mere judgment. Number two is get dressed for now and not quote unquote then or tomorrow.

⁓ Detox your feed, your social media feed. Move with love, not punishment. Say it loud. Like let people know what you're struggling with. And number six and the last one is choose memories over mirrors. And yeah. Like what do you think about that? I loved like ⁓ that this idea came up for me. I know I'm not the only one.

that struggles with this and I want you to have a reminder right now, a hell yes reminder if you will, because that's what we're all about here. ⁓ Your body is not the problem. It isn't. I'm all for physical transformations, ⁓ but it starts with your mindset. I don't care what anyone else says. It starts with your mindset.

and your mindset is what's gonna make you consistent to get those wins that you want to see in your body. ⁓ And the problem is though that the story you were told about what your body should be to be loved or accepted or confident, that's the problem is that story that you were told.

The truth is you don't need a flat stomach to be worthy of joy You don't need to shrink to be seen and you don't need to fit a mold to feel like you again So try on the swimsuit take the damn photo Get in the water You are already enough and this summer ⁓

Let it be about freedom and not fixing.

I love you guys. This was a lot I know, but like, and I hope it helped. If it did, let me know. Let me know ⁓ by DMing me on Instagram, or you can text me. I have a text number here and I get notifications on that. ⁓ But thanks for being here. I love you guys. And if this episode landed in your heart, share it with a friend also and tag me. ⁓

at Elyse Bechardt, E-O-Y-S-E-B-U-S-H-A-R-D. And remember, your body, your life, your healing, they all get to feel like a hell yes. Until next time, I love you guys. I'm off to Vegas.