Outgrowing Old Versions of Yourself (and WHY That's Okay)

In this episode of Hell Yes Habits, Elyse Bushard discusses the importance of recognizing and navigating the process of outgrowing old versions of ourselves. She emphasizes that feeling off or disconnected is a normal part of growth and change, and encourages listeners to embrace their evolving identities. Elyse shares insights on the subtle grief that accompanies this transition, the necessity of giving oneself permission to evolve, and the importance of aligning with one's true self. The episode concludes with actionable tips for listeners to integrate into their lives to foster personal growth and self-awareness.

Takeaways

• Outgrowing old versions of yourself is normal and necessary.
• Feeling off often indicates growth rather than something being wrong.
• Change can feel like a form of grief, but it's a natural process.
• You have permission to evolve and change your mind.
• It's okay to let go of relationships that no longer serve you.
• Small shifts in habits can lead to significant changes over time.
• You are not flaky for wanting to change; it's a sign of growth.
• Recognizing when something feels off is crucial for alignment.
• You will leave some people behind as you evolve, and that's okay.
• Your journey is unique, and you should honor your own timeline.

#HellYesHabits #PersonalGrowth #Change #GrowthMindset #SelfAwareness

Transcript

Elyse Bushard (00:00)
Hello, hello Happy Friday everyone it is I'm gonna paint him another picture for you because you know how I like to do that It is 9 p.m.. On Friday I literally remembered on my way home that I needed to record this and then when I got home I got distracted and also started sitting on my couch and eating and then I Just remembered I was like ⁓ Frick ⁓

So here we are. This is the Elise that you get. But welcome back. If that was your intro, I'm sorry. ⁓ Actually, I have an intro. So that wasn't your intro, like your intro to me talking live. ⁓ Welcome to the shit show that is LES habits. ⁓ I'm Elise and this podcast, as you know, is here to help you build a life that feels like a

A full body, hell yes. So I'm here, I'm your hype woman. I wanna get real today and talk about something that no one really prepares you for in adulthood. And I know like hashtag adulting, adulting is hard sometimes. Sometimes I don't wanna make a decision, right? We don't wanna do the things that we know we have to do.

and yeah, but the main thing that I want to talk about today that no one prepares you for in adulthood is outgrowing old versions of yourself and how that feels because it's the parts of you that once felt like home might not fit anymore, like that type of feeling. And guess what? That's not only normal, it's necessary.

It's necessary for growth and change. So if you've been feeling a little bit off, a little disconnected, like you're in some weird in-between version of yourself, you're not going crazy. You're just actually growing. And today I want to talk about how to navigate that shift because I'm in a season right now, I feel like I'm always changing and growing.

⁓ I'm always in a phase of learning and so I I tend to like always be in some sort of a change season and it's uncomfortable ⁓ when you're in that season and you do you feel off you feel like You're not vibing with people that you usually vibe with ⁓ all the things and So today, like I said, I want to talk to you about

navigating that shift though without guilt and like going into like this shame spiral or the urge to shrink back into a version of you that no longer fits. So let's dive in to this juicy episode. ⁓ There comes a moment, maybe several actually, when habits, routines, even relationships that's one like

once felt so you and this could be a love relationship ⁓ or a friendship or a family member or any type of relationship that once felt like so you it starts to feel off. It's like you're wearing your favorite pair of jeans only to realize wait did these always feel this tight? I use that or maybe the jeans feel loose. It could be the opposite.

and we always want jeans that feel loose. ⁓ But the spoiler alert in that is it's not always the jeans. And what I mean by that is it's sometimes it's just growth. It's quiet, it's slow, it's uncomfortable growth. And the wild thing, most people think that feeling off means something's wrong with them. But honestly,

It often means something is so right and you just have to get to the right, like over the hump, if you will, because you're evolving. You're no longer okay with being on autopilot in your life and you're craving alignment, not just achievement. And your nervous system might be freaking out a little because, well, change is scary.

⁓ even if it's a good thing, like it's scary. It's uncomfortable, like I said, it's scary. ⁓ So, but let me backtrack a little bit because I wanna talk about change and I'm gonna name it. ⁓ basically outgrowing an old version of you is also like a form of grief.

When you're outgrowing an old version, it's not always dramatic cry in the shower type of grief, but it's like a subtle grief. So it's like a tiny subset of grief that we feel. And because you're mourning the version of you who used to say yes to every invite, or used to be ⁓ just a different person in the room, and you're starting to like,

be like, that doesn't feel right. Why doesn't that feel right? It felt right last year or even a couple months ago. ⁓ And it's crazy because when you are changing, are mourning, like it's like the end of an era. And if you are that person who used to say yes to every invite or you chased,

⁓ hustle culture and lived off iced coffee and approval from others or you used to be like this people pleasing her way every situation just to keep pace with everyone in your life. But now you're starting to say no. And on the flip side of that, it's not only you're grieving like that old version of yourself, but people are starting to recognize

Whoa, like this isn't the least. And so your relationships might change. And even though you're becoming someone ⁓ more you, for instance, than you ever were before, there's still this piece of like a letting go that deserves a moment. A moment of like, there's nothing wrong with that prior version of you, but

you need to move on into feeling more aligned with the direction you want your life to go. And it deserves a moment. And I want to recognize that because it is like a form of like tiny grief that you feel. So if you've been feeling that, if you're like, my gosh, Elise, you've named it, you've noticed it and named it. So you've been feeling that weird in between sadness. ⁓ You're not broken.

You're actually shedding. And if you will. And it's brave. It's so freaking brave. ⁓ And here's your permission slip. I'm giving you, so like, you're noticing in naming that like you're feeling this way, but you know it's time to move on, but you take a moment to grieve and notice and be aware.

of that change, but here's your permission slip to evolve. You're allowed to change your mind. You're allowed to say that used to work for me, but it doesn't anymore. And you're allowed to want different things at age 37, I say that because I'm 37, than you did at age 27 or 21. And you're allowed to grow

of spaces, out of relationships, out of roles ⁓ that you either play in your life or at work or and you're allowed and even like entire careers you're allowed to pivot when you at any age when you hit the age of 50 you're allowed to pivot and try something new it doesn't matter

And growth doesn't actually mean that the old you was wrong. I kind of mentioned this before, but it actually just means that the current you is ready for something just more aligned, more aligned to you. So stop holding yourself hostage to past versions of you just because other people are more comfortable with her. ⁓ This is your life. This is your

damn life. Your timeline and your evolution. I'm gonna say that one more time. This is your life, your timeline and your evolution. It's yours. So stop holding yourself hostage to past versions of yourself because they're just more comfortable for other people or for you. And in reality, they're not actually comfortable.

for you and so you're just holding on to that version of yourself for other people and then you're living an unfulfilling life. Let's just be clear, it's not aligned to what you want. It's aligned to what your mom or your friend or your cousin wants. ⁓ So here, like, I know that was kind of short and sweet but I kinda liked it like that because it's been something that I've been

doing right now and shifting in the way that I'm honoring the way that I'm feeling, also expressing that to other people, but also learning to say no, say no to things in my life that and still be happy for other people, like and not and be happy where I'm at and not focus on the fact

that change is hard, acknowledging it, but then like moving into and taking a step and action towards that version of myself that I know feels better. Like I know like deep inside in my gut, it feels better. ⁓ But here, you know, I love to give you like a little homework, because you know, like I know you're here because you want to be better.

or maybe you're here because you like me, in which case, I love you guys too, I love that you listen to this. ⁓ But I'm sure a part of you also keeps listening to this because you wanna be better and you want to strive for more. And so I always like to add just like a little like homework assignment for you to think about ⁓ and integrate into your life. So here's your hell yes habit for this week. Every time

that you notice something feeling off, I want you to pause and ask, is this still serving me in that moment? Like, don't wait until later on. I tend to do that with like something will happen and I'm like, that felt not good, but I pushed it down and then later on in the day, I'm like, I'm like, I shouldn't have pushed that down in the moment. I should have spoke and like changed it right in the moment. So

ask yourself when something feels off, when a decision feels off, when something you're doing feels off and not aligned anymore. And question it, and see if you can move it towards something that feels better for you. We all have this intuition inside of us, and we know when something feels off. And so this goes for anything, for your habits, routines. ⁓

your social media follows, I tend to now go through my feed and if I get like an ick feeling or I start over comparing, I unfollow these people that create that reaction. Cause we know like who those people are who do not fill us up or provide value in our life when we're scrolling on social media.

I want you to also do this in relationships. Your Friday night plans. Heck, I'm recording a podcast at 9 p.m. I worked until seven in Fort Collins, drove home. I'm in my Snuggie recording a podcast. I ate dinner. this is an amazing Friday night to me and I'm gonna go to bed here soon. ⁓ After I...

get this posted because you know I don't miss a Friday. I'm not doing it. But everything, like it goes for everything. And if the answer is no, you don't have to make like some dramatic exit like when you're analyzing these things, you just have to give yourself permission to adjust, to pivot, to realign. And that can just be a small shift.

So when you're aware of it, even and even that like one degree shift Every day adds up and those tiny course corrections. That's how We build a hell yes life We build hell yes habits for a hell yes life and one that fits Who you actually are and who you want to be and not? Who you were pretending to be or who a prior version of you would have?

been comfortable with ⁓ or pleasing other people with a prior version of yourself. So again, this is a short episode and I like it. ⁓ You're not, I just want to close by just saying you're not flaky for changing. You're not too much in quotes for wanting more and you're not behind.

you're actually becoming all that you want to be in every version of yourself. So give yourself permission to evolve and change. And the people in your life, if you're worried about leaving people behind, the honest truth is you will leave people behind. You will. But would you rather be stuck with these people feeling misaligned in yourself or find new people?

like that you leave behind. The people that evolve with you, those are the relationships that I like. I have a select few friendships that have evolved. Like we've changed and evolved in our lives. We have different interests, but like we still support each other. And so there is, there's still opportunity to do that, but just know there will be people who you will leave behind.

that were okay with a prior version of you that you no longer are. I wanted to just put that little nugget out there too. And remember, you're not flaky for changing, you're not too much for wanting more, you're not behind, and becoming the person you want isn't always loud. Sometimes it's like choosing yourself in a quiet,

consistent way until life finally starts to feel like you. It can be small increments, but they all feel good and you know they're in the right direction. yeah, that's what I've got for you today. Be okay with the old version of yourself. Acknowledge that you're changing, but take those small steps into becoming

more aligned with the person you want to be and the person that you are right now. Honor that because we all are unique and that's what I got for you today. If this hit home, you know that I would love it if you tagged me on Instagram. Let me know what resonates with you. ⁓ I don't do this for money.

I don't do this for anything like that, at least not right now. I don't really have it in the plans either. But I love this community. I love what it's growing into. In the months I've done it consistently. yeah, if this also hit home, share it with a friend who you think needs to hear it too. ⁓ I would love to hear who you're sharing it with. And anything like...

And any feedback you have for me, any topic ideas, I'd love to hear them. ⁓ And if you haven't already, I'm gonna also say this, leave a review for me, please. ⁓ It helps, and all you have to do is like on Spotify is click the five stars, and then on Apple you can actually leave like a written review. ⁓ And that would be great too, because that's how new people can find it. I have listeners.

all over the world. It's kind of crazy. Shout out to all my international listeners. And yeah, until next time, keep growing, keep going, and don't forget that you were made for more. Love you guys.