An Unstoppable Mindset: How Your Thoughts Shape Your Identity & Self-Belief

In this episode of Hell Yes Habits, Elyse Bushard explores the transformative power of thoughts and how they shape our identity and experiences. She emphasizes that we are not defined by our circumstances but by our perceptions of them. Elyse shares actionable steps to reframe negative thoughts, build self-belief, and navigate life's challenges with a positive mindset. Through personal anecdotes and practical advice, she encourages listeners to take control of their thoughts and create a fulfilling life.

Takeaways

• You are not your circumstances; you are your thoughts about them.
• You have the power to control your thoughts.
• Awareness of negative thoughts is the first step to change.
• Reframing limiting beliefs can open doors to new possibilities.
• Self-belief is built through consistent positive actions.
• Your brain looks for evidence to support your beliefs.
• Small actions can reinforce new, empowering beliefs.
• Life will throw challenges at you; how you react matters.
• You can choose to respond positively to life's inconveniences.
• Reframing your thoughts is a powerful habit for personal growth.

#HellYesHabits #SelfImprovement #Mindset #Growth #PositiveThinking

Transcript

Elyse Bushard (00:00)
Alrighty, hey hey! Welcome back to Hell Yes Habits. I am recording another late night episode, so give me feedback on this. I feel like I have a different kind of like reflective energy, so maybe I'll save this for like the not so hype podcast, but anyways, we're testing it out. You know that I'm on week

17 in a row of recording this podcast. And I am just freaking proud of myself because who would have thought I could have been called a podcaster? And I am a podcaster. So I feel like 17 episodes in and you've been consistent, you're a podcaster. So now when I introduce myself, I have said a couple of times to like new people, like I'm a podcaster and I'm proud of it. I'm proud of

this community, like people are starting to listen to like older episodes and it's becoming a thing all over the world, which is so weird that people are listening to my podcasts that aren't like my family and friends because I don't really know anyone across the world. So yeah, but welcome back.

As you know here, we're all about building habits that create a hell yes life. And so today I wanted to talk about, again, something that I am going through currently and an aha moment that I had and have been having in the past few weeks. And today it's gonna be about diving into something that will just completely shift how you see yourself.

and your potential. And it's something very simple, but also something that I feel like we disregard as something so powerful. And it's the power of your freaking thoughts. Because here's the truth, you're not your circumstances. You are actually, you're not your circumstances or what's happened to you in your past, present or future. You are your thoughts about

those circumstances situations in your past, present, future. So let me repeat that. You are not your circumstances. You are your thoughts about your circumstances. And the best freaking part of realizing that and being aware of that is you have control over those thoughts. You have power over those thoughts. And

It's just...

An amazing thing. It's an amazing realization again a simple concept, right? Like I'm sure you're like, okay Elise like what like Why does this matter? But when you're aware of that Like anything can happen to you. And yes life will throw you Excuse my language shitty things. It will throw you curveballs That you are not ready for and I'm actually gonna put an example of something that just happened to me recently

but I didn't react to it in a negative way and it made the situation 10 times better for not only myself but everyone involved in the situation. Because it was quite literally a shitty situation. I will get into that more as an example. But you have control over those thoughts and it's such a powerful shift.

Because every belief you have about yourself, whether it's something empowering or empowering, wow, words, whether it's something empowering or limiting, it just started as a thought you repeated over and over again until it became a part of your identity. If you think about it, everything we think, we've just repeated and it's either become

our identity or a part of our life, something we value, something we think negatively about ourselves, a narrative we tell about ourselves. if you, so basically if you believe you're bad at something, it's not because it's actually true. It's because at some point in your life, whether it's some trauma from high school, I only say that because.

I probably had some of my most traumatic years in high school and pivoting stupid moments. Middle school was also hard. I really didn't fully become myself or into my identity until college. Loved college. Would never go back to college, it was too expensive, but loved college. Side note. But if you technically believe you're bad at something, again, it's not because you think it's true or it's something that

to you. It's because at some point you told yourself that story enough times in that narrative in your head that it became your truth and who you are. So like think about it for a second. Like if you constantly think... I'm gonna use this workout example as an example because it's something that we all can...

relate to in some aspect and it's general enough but like if you think that I'm not disciplined enough to work out I'll always struggle with my weight or I'm just not good at relationships I'm gonna be single forever your brain is literally wired to look for evidence to support those beliefs so

If you're saying you're not disciplined, you always struggle with your weight, or you're not good at relationships, you'll always be single, these are, by the way, things that I've said to myself over and over again. Like, your brain is just gonna tell, like, look for evidence to support those things. So then it just becomes a part of you. But.

The kicker is the second that you decide and you have the power to decide this to challenge those thoughts, you open the door to change. You literally open the door to change and it can be like a split second. It could be in one day. It could be in one day I wake up and I'm like.

I'm not good at relationships. I'm gonna be single forever. And then literally five minutes later if I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna go try some new activities and see and talk to strangers and see if I can meet someone because I deserve someone. Like I could do that within five seconds or five minutes of each other. And the power of that is that your brain will then be like, yeah, yeah, I deserve those things. I deserve to find someone.

I deserve to feel good in my body. And like, it just opens the door for just that minor shift. Like the power of your thoughts is so overlooked.

But I'm sure you're like, okay, great, Elise, but like, how do I do this? Because sometimes, actually all the time, we can be our hardest critic. So I am like, and we all are, whether we are looking in the mirror and not liking what we're seeing, whether we're in a dressing room, which by the way, trying on clothes is like the worst experience ever. I hate it.

I don't even think if I loved my body right now, I would love going into that horrible lighting in a small room and trying on clothes and looking in the mirror. Like I see why people order a bunch of stuff and then return it because you can try it in the comfort of your own home and it just feels better. Anyways, that was a very long side tangent, but...

If you are able to take control of your thoughts, it's life changing. But how do do that? The good news is your thoughts are not set in stone, like I've said, and you can rewire them. So here's how, and here's some more examples of this. The first step is awareness. You have to pay attention to what you're telling yourself daily and catch those sneaky moments where you're in negativity.

where you're thinking negative things. So you just have to be aware of that and pause. That's the first step. The second step is to interrupt your thoughts and reframe them. So when a limiting thought comes up, challenge it and be like, why do I think that? Is this actually true? And replace it with something else empowering. So for example, if you are saying something like, I always

I'll always struggle with my weight. Be like, where did that come from? Like, why do I think I'll always struggle with it? Like, can't I? And just keep like asking yourself questions. Like, where did that come from? Like, can't I change like this habit and start on the journey towards feeling better in my body? And just ask yourself if these things are actually true or you're just telling yourself.

to move on with the day and then your brain is like, okay, well we figured that out, what's next? So awareness number one, interrupt and reframe your thought is number two. Number three, and last thing is repetition and proof. So your brain needs proof to validate things. It's like when you're rewiring it, it also needs proof. So how do you do that is you act.

You take small actions to reinforce the new belief. So if you want to believe you're disciplined at something, start by keeping one small promise to yourself today or tomorrow or whenever you're needing to reframe something. And it can be small. I'm talking about like five minutes of stretching, a 10 minute walk that you are like, tomorrow I'm gonna do that.

tomorrow I'm going to push play on a workout. Those, and you actually do it, that proof, it will start to show your brain being like disproving that thought, that negative thought that you had.

So that's it, the awareness is the first step. The second step is interrupt and reframe that thought, which includes pausing. And number three is repetition and proof. So you need to show your brain proof and keeping promises to yourself is one of the ways that you can do that. Another thing I wanna talk about is self-belief.

because a lot of these negative thoughts surround how you see yourself. Self-belief, first of all, is built. It's not something that you're born with. It's something that you constantly have to nurture. Every time you choose a thought that supports your growth, you're actually strengthening your belief in yourself and your confidence. The more you believe in yourself, the more

you show up in a way that proves you're capable. An example of this is I used to believe that some people were just naturally confident and successful and I just wasn't one of them. But once I realized that my actions could shift my thoughts, I started changing the way I saw myself and those small things like

It literally changed everything. So an example, like a specific example, a personal example of this is I have always struggled with public speaking. It has been something that I have struggled with. I've taken public speaking courses, which by the way, I hate those, where they make you stand up in front. It's just terrifying to me. And so I've always...

grown up with something like in my mind that says you are horrible public speaker, which basically fueled the fear of public speaking until I'm at this job right now and I have a lot of confidence in my ability, things, but I still struggle with public speaking. And it actually isn't because I'm not confident. It's actually because I'm questioning

the narrative that I've been telling myself for years that I'm not good at speaking. And I started just trying to reframe that by taking small actions and talking with a life coach. like, I have been, and I started this podcast. Like that was a big deal for me. Like,

to frame together like a beginning, and end of a podcast confidently and also help people because I love helping people. It's like, this was a big thing for me. And is it perfect? No, but I don't have to be perfect. I kept telling myself that like everything had to be polished and perfect. I always have to be on when I'm speaking. But if I made it more of a natural like,

conversation and collaboration, I'm fine and I'm natural and I'm confident. And so I think it was just the fact that I was putting all of this narrative and pressure on me that one, I'm not a public speaker. I'm shifting that narrative right now. And two, that I don't have to do it like everyone else. Like,

I'm never gonna be this, I'm never gonna be someone else's version of public speaking, but I can be my own. And this podcast is one of the things, like, I feel comfortable doing. Granted, I'm not in front of people, but I'm broadcasting my voice for everyone to hear. And so, it's just an example of one of the things that,

happened that I'm trying to reframe right now and a narrative that I used to tell myself. But again, once I realized I could shift my thoughts around that, I started changing the way I saw myself. And that just changes everything. It really does. But let me let me backtrack a little bit, because I know that I

dug into self-belief and how that is a powerful thing to change your thoughts around how you believe in yourself and how to do that is basically to act. But I also want to circle back to the fact that you have so much power over the little like inconveniences that happen in your life.

An example that happened recently is I was over at, I live with a roommate and she has two dogs. She has a puppy, a wiener dog that is named Denali. And then we also have a Ridgeback. And I say we, they're basically like my nieces, but they are technically my roommate's dogs. We were both out.

for the night. She was gone out later than I was so I came home and long story short without like the details of like I walked in to like we live on a one level house. We share like the living space, the living room and kitchen and

I get like one side of the house though. It's a three-bedroom house. One is my office, one is my bedroom, and her bedroom is on the other side. But anyways, I walk in. There is diarrhea everywhere. Shit everywhere. It's a shit show. The bigger dog... The puppy was in her kennel. The bigger dog had tried to, like, was just sick, right? And...

that's that's I I ended up like cleaning it up because my roommate wasn't gonna be I couldn't ignore it right like I could have gone to bed like technically my room was unscathed thank god my bedroom door was closed because she would have gone in she went in every corner of the house I'm telling you but I cleaned it all up as good as I could like it was late at night and

I did miss spots because and it stunk to high heaven. But long story short, right? I didn't overreact. And this is the power of like your thoughts and your actions. And when life throws you literal shit show things, it was a shit show. A literal.

shi-cho. And I decided like, like, what was the point of me getting angry, right? Well, I wasn't going to get angry at the poor dog. The poor dog was sick, right? I wasn't going to get angry at my roommate. She was in Denver. like any, either one of us could have come home to this. Granted, they're not my dogs, but I live in like we coexist like

I love her dogs and so I cleaned up as well as I could. Again, I got home at 11 so I cleaned for probably an hour, went to bed a little after midnight. My roommate was like mortified. She was like, oh my God. Like of course the night, the one night that I go out this happens. And anyways, but long story short, right? I...

decided not to overreact because what was the point? My thoughts about it were like, yeah, it sucked. Did I want to clean up at 11 o'clock at night? No. But me getting emotional and overreacting to something that I can't control, that's the power of our thoughts, right? This could have gone in million different directions. I could have been angry. I could have, but what was the point in

Like, it's not gonna change anything. The shit is still gonna be there. And that's a metaphor for everything in life that we can't control. And I know this was like, I'm trying to like pull in more of my like real life examples here, but like life is gonna throw you things that you can't control, but you have control over how you react to it.

And I'm gonna come back to what I like said at the beginning is you are not your circumstances. You are your thoughts about your circumstances. So.

And literally the best part is you have control over those thoughts. So you know how I always like to end this? Is a challenge. I want you to pick one thing that's been holding you back and flip it. So write down any new thought and repeat it to yourself every day this week. So write down something

like a narrative that you're telling yourself and then reframe it and make it something positive, essentially. Now again, I'm not telling you to sugarcoat things. If you don't actually believe something, don't write it down. It's like looking in the mirror and saying, love my body when I don't. Like I don't want you to be fake.

But I do want you to find things that you love. So like if you are looking in the mirror and you don't like your body, maybe say something you do like about your body. There has to be something. And the same goes for any situation. Any situation that throws you a curveball this week, I want you to pause. If you're about to get emotional,

And like, it's okay to get emotional every once in while, but like, things we can't control, like the traffic, or someone cut you off on the freeway, or a literal shit show in your house. Like, let's reframe our thoughts and that power that we have is so like...

undeniably powerful. And just know that when you start to control your thoughts, you start to control your life. You do. And that, that simple thing is a fricking hell yes habit. So let's go make it happen. Let's go reframe our thoughts. Thank you.

for listening again. If this podcast, you love it, you hate it, I wanna hear from you. Tag me with moments that resonated with you. If you laughed at my experience with the shit show in my house and the dogs, I would love to hear from you. Like tag me on Instagram, at Elise Bashard, E-L-Y-S-E-B-U-S-H-A-R-D. It's also linked in the show notes.

But thank you. Thank you so much for listening and

I really hope you got something out of this and we'll talk soon. Love ya.