A Tough Love Episode: Stop Waiting - No One Cares as Much as You Think

In this episode of Hell Yes Habits, Elyse Bushard discusses the importance of breaking free from a 'just fine' mindset and embracing personal growth through small, actionable habits. She emphasizes overcoming the fear of judgment from others, the necessity of discomfort in the growth process, and the power of incremental improvement. Elyse encourages listeners to take immediate action towards their goals and to challenge themselves to try new things, reinforcing that the opinions of others should not hold them back.

Takeaways

• Ditch the 'just fine' mindset for a 'Hell Yes' approach.
• Fear of judgment often holds us back from trying new things.
• Everyone starts as a beginner; embrace the learning process.
• Discomfort is essential for personal growth and development.
• Incremental improvement leads to significant change over time.
• Confidence is built through action, not inaction.
• People are more focused on their own lives than judging you.
• Taking the first step is crucial for progress.
• Challenge yourself to try something new this week.
• Community support is vital for personal growth.

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Keywords: personal growth, self-improvement, overcoming fear, habits, mindset, confidence, discomfort, incremental growth, taking action, community

Transcript

Elyse Bushard (00:06)
welcome to Hell Yes Habits. I'm Elyse, a marketing professional by day and your go-to coach for building the habits that create a life you can't wait to wake up to. I'm so glad you're here. This podcast is all about ditching the just fine mindset and making room for the magic in your everyday life. And let me tell you, this isn't just a podcast. It's the start of a movement, a Hell Yes Habits movement.

It's about breaking out of autopilot, showing up for yourself in ways that matter, and creating small but powerful habits that lead to a big, bold, hell yes kind of life. Each week, we'll have real, honest conversations about juggling all the things, career, relationships, family, and those moments when you just need you time. I'll share actionable tips, lessons from my own journey,

and inspiration to help you stop settling and start thriving, baby. You in?, let's do this.

Elyse Bushard (01:15)
Hello, hello, welcome back to Hell Yes Habits. This is actually going to be a fiery episode and something that actually I need to hear. And so I know you guys need to hear it as well, And it's going to be just like a tough love episode because sometimes we need those. And I hope you can then come back to this.

as just a reminder, depending on what season of life you're in and what's going on in your life. So anyways, let's get straight to it.

The real reason you're not trying a new thing isn't because you're too busy. It's not because you just don't know where to start. And it's definitely not because you need to wait for the right time, quote unquote. It's because you care too damn much about what other people think. And if that stings a little, it's stung a little coming out of my mouth.

good because that means we're getting somewhere. And where this idea stems from is I'm in a season right now where I am embracing a lot of change. And what is actually holding me back is the fear of what other people think. And when I step into new things and I try new things and I'm I'm branching out from the person I was and

We all change throughout our life. I hope none of you are the same person you were in high school or 10 years ago. And because I for sure am held not and I love to embrace new things and try new things. In fact, this year, every month I'm trying something new. This month, it happens to be the last day in January, but this month I...

tried a kickboxing class for the first time. I also tried muscles for the first time, food that I had never tried. Anyways, love, it doesn't have to be this extravagant thing, but you have to be honest with yourself. If you're not, if you're wanting to try new things and there's a barrier up, it is most likely because you care what other people think.

And whoever these other people are in your life that you think are judging you, I'm gonna give you a wake up call today. I needed this wake up call today. And I'm gonna tie in of course some of my examples, but this is gonna be just a tough love episode. So let's talk about this because you care too much about what other people are thinking right now. And...

Let's start out with excuses. I already listed some of them, but you probably told yourself some version of this before. I want to start a business, but what if I fail? I'd love to get back into the gym, but what if people stare at me or I'm trying something new that I haven't in a long time and I look stupid doing it. I really want to take a dance class, for instance, but I'll look stupid.

I'm sure all of us have said some version of this when we're trying to think about trying things that are new and it holds us back. And let me though translate all of that for you. It's basically saying I don't want to feel uncomfortable and I'm afraid of looking like a beginner because let's face it, everyone is a beginner at some point when you're trying something new. Whether you

are attempting a new skill set at your job. Everyone is a beginner at some point in their life and hopefully multiple points in your life you're a beginner. But here is also the truth, being bad at something new is just part of the process. Every single person you admire

like in your life, whether it's someone you work with or a family member or a friend, they were a beginner at some point in their life. And every expert started as a clueless amateur at what they are skilled at right now. And every single one of them had to push through the phase where they felt awkward, where they felt embarrassed or judged. And the difference is, is

that to get to the level that they are at, they did not let any of that stop them.

The harsh reality though is that people don't actually care as much as you think they do and

Isn't that crazy to think about? Like people don't care as much as we think they do. I said this, I think multiple times on my podcast. This is now the 11th episode that people are self-involved, me included. We have a lot going on in our lives. And so you know that voice like in your head that tells you everyone is watching and waiting for you to fail or mess up. That is a complete

B-S-Y. No one is sitting around thinking about you that much because they're too busy worrying about themselves. We live in the world where everyone's hyper-focused on their own insecurities. And the girl at the gym that you think is judging you, she's worried about her own form and how she's looking. And the people you think that are watching and waiting for your business to, your new business to

to flop, to fail, they're worried about their own jobs. And even if someone does have an opinion, so what? Like, are they paying your bills? Are they living your life? No. Then why are you giving them so much power?

Even if someone does have an opinion, so what? Are they paying your bills? Are they living your life? No? Then why are you giving them so much power?

I'm gonna pause there because that's powerful, right? I mean, the fact that people don't care as much as we think they do, and it's actually holding us back from being all that we want to be, that is crazy, right? This next section I'm gonna talk about is that discomfort in the price of your own growth.

Like, I'm not saying in this whole thing that trying something new is easy. It's not. Unless it's like trying a new food, like my example at the beginning. That's pretty easy. You either try it or you don't. Or you think it's disgusting and you don't care if you try it.

It's the fact that saying and trying something new is easy. It isn't. The fact of the matter is it isn't. You will feel uncomfortable. You will suck at it at first. And you will have moments where you question yourself if you made the right decision to start it or not. I have those multiple times when I try new things and it's more than just trying a new food.

maybe it's trying a new business venture, maybe it's investing in myself and my health, in different supplements, in different workouts, like long-term commitments, you're going to have many moments that you question yourself. But in that uncomfortability and in that awkward feeling is where the magic happens.

and growth isn't found in that comfort zone. So if you're staying in that comfort zone, you're probably feeling good, but you're never gonna grow. And confidence isn't built by staying safe. It's actually built by doing the thing before you feel ready. It's by showing up, by sucking a little and getting better anyway, that 1 % better motto.

If you get 1 % better every day, that's all you can ask for, especially if something you're trying new or even something that you're learning new at your job. A workout program, if you go up two pounds in weight, go up one pound in weight, you're doing more reps, working out is just easy to equate to that. But like that is 1 % growth.

And it's not necessarily one form of measurement either. And so you just have to remember that if you stay in that growth that feel good, you'll feel good, but you're gonna stay stagnant. It's like on a chart, just gonna be like, you might go up a little, but then you're gonna go back down where you were. If you get 1 % better every day, it's a steady graph up.

And I'm making the motions like you can see me. But it's steady growth. I talk a lot with my hands. eventually we might get to the point where I'll record the podcast and then you can see how much I talk with my hands. But, record it like meaning like video. But we're not that sophisticated yet. We're only on episode 11 here. And I'm just proud of myself for fricking starting the thing, right? It's something new.

An example here is it feels very uncomfortable at first, but as I put in the reps and I'm getting 1 % better every week, every episode, I'm on 11 weeks so far of launching this podcast since my 37th birthday on November 22nd, every Friday. And I feel 1 % better, 1 % more confident.

doing this. So that's another example. Like that was brand new for me. I had to learn everything. I failed forward. The first two episodes I recorded, if you listen to my first episode, talk about this, but so backtrack that one is that one is priceless. And PS I never listened to my own episodes. I don't like the sound of my voice. And I know I'm not the only podcaster that doesn't

re-listen to their podcasts. But I forgot where I was going there. it's that like I was a beginner, right? And I failed forward and it was very uncomfortable at first. But each rep that I put in, it gets better. It feels better. And so just by so showing up and sucking a little bit and not caring what other people think,

I get better and I grow. So here's your challenge, okay? This is gonna be a short and sweet episode, right? But here's your challenge. I always like to put a little challenge in your mind to see if you can put this into practice in your own life. Think about one thing that you've been hesitating on.

Maybe it's a new class, a hobby, a new career path, a side hustle, a new workout class, whatever it is, do it, do it messy and take a first step this week, not next month, not when things slow down, this week.

And it can be something small, right? It could be reaching out to the right people and asking them for advice about, because you see someone in your life influence you and they are successful at the thing that you want to do. And reaching out to them and be like, hey, you wanna grab a cup of coffee sometime? I just wanna pick your brain about how you did this. And that is a step in the growth.

of the thing that you want to do. And it's only one thing, right? And when that little voice inside your head comes up and whispers, what if I fail? What if someone thinks blah, blah, blah? Who is this someone? And also, I want you to answer back, yeah, and what if I don't try?

If this episode gave you the push you needed, I would love you to send it to a friend who's also been stuck in in their own head. And if you actually do something about the goal that you have set and the thing that you wanna try that's new, DM me on Instagram. I would love to hear it. Or text me, I have a text number on the show notes of this podcast.

And I would love to hear about it and how you made it happen and what 1 % better thing you tried that is new. And yeah, thank you so much for listening. I appreciate you. I appreciate this community already. I am gonna get better at hopefully posting these ahead of time.

and planning these out, but this was definitely a topic that I know stung for some of you, because it stung for me. But we can do it. We can push through the hard. We can try new things. And people don't think and worry about what you're doing as much as you think. So just do it anyway. Love you guys.

Elyse Bushard (16:29)
If any part of this podcast gave you a hell yes moment, I would absolutely love to hear from you. You know here at Hell Yes Habits, we're all about finding what makes you feel good and turning your everyday habits into hell yes habits. We're building a community rooted in connection and growth and your voice is a huge part of that. If this episode was helpful for you, it would mean the world to me if you shared it.

on your Instagram stories and tagged me at Elise Bechard. Not only so I can thank you personally, but to help spread the word about this Hell Yes Habits movement. Thanks for hanging out with me today and I'll catch you next time. Let's keep creating those habits that light you up and build the life you deserve. Until then, go make it a Hell Yes Day.