A New Year, Same You: Why Resolutions Are Crap (and what actually works)

In this episode of Hell Yes Habits, Elyse Bushard discusses the importance of building sustainable habits rather than relying on New Year's resolutions. She emphasizes the pitfalls of the all-or-nothing mindset and encourages listeners to find their own unique habits that fit their lifestyles. Elyse introduces the concept of micro habits, which are small, manageable actions that can lead to significant changes over time. She also suggests rethinking goals for the new year by choosing a theme or word that resonates with personal growth and intention.

Takeaways

• Ditch the just fine mindset and embrace a hell yes life.
• Resolutions often lead to failure due to their vague nature.
• Life is messy; embrace the imperfections in your journey.
• Micro habits are the key to building lasting change.
• Find habits that align with your own lifestyle, not someone else's.
• The all-or-nothing mindset is detrimental to progress.
• Choose a theme for the year instead of rigid goals.
• Reflect on what worked and what didn't in the past year.
• Start small and build on your successes over time.
• You are worthy regardless of your achievements.

Transcript

Elyse Bushard (00:02)
Hello, hello Welcome back to Helly Ass Habits I'm your host Elise and we are coming at you at the end of the first couple days in January It has been a shit show of a beginning of the year for me if I'm being honest a shit show it's been a lot of

a lot of sickness, a lot of crazy schedule, and like the holidays were like a whirlwind, also great, also just drained me, and then I got sick. So it's just been quite a beginning of the year for me, and I, if I'm being honest, I've been in quite a negative spot in mindset.

And just today I finally feel like more like myself, not only physically, but mentally. It's amazing that being sick and getting out of your routine and the habits that make you feel good, they just, it makes you feel like crap and everywhere emotionally, mentally, physically. I just was out of my routines. didn't start the new year like I wanted to because I was sick.

And yeah, so I was gonna record in a bonus podcast leading into the new year, but because I was sick, you wouldn't have wanted to hear me on Tuesday. So here we are again, it is 412 on Friday and I promise to release an episode every Friday. So here we are because I felt good enough. This one's gonna be,

just actually very timely for me because I'm going through it. And that's what I want this podcast to be about. I want it to be what I am going through and also give you tangible things that you can use and you can apply to whatever season of life you are in as well. Because like that's what we're about here.

finding the habits that make us feel good. And that won't necessarily be the same habits for everyone. And I wanna hone in on that point over and over again on almost every episode. You cannot build your habits off of someone else's habits and lifestyle and comparison. That actually is one of my most popular episodes is the comparison episode.

and I've gotten the most feedback on that one. So scroll back if you haven't and I think it's episode three. I can't believe I'm already on episode seven here. But here we are and welcome back and thank you for listening. This one might ruffle some feathers because, but also it shouldn't be surprised that I have this stance on New Year's resolutions. Basically,

They're crap. Resolutions are crap. I will stand on a hill against every health and fitness and coaching out there. Resolutions are crap. And don't get me wrong though, the idea of starting fresh is tempting. But the way that most people and the health and fitness industry wants us to approach resolutions

It is a recipe for us to fail. So then we have to renew and try something new again and do an all or nothing type of thing. here's the truth though. All or nothing fixes will not help you build long-term habits and results. The key is building habits, like I said, that work for you.

and not your coworker, not your sister, not your best friend or your roommate or anyone else. So today I want to break down why resolutions don't work. I hate the word resolution. I hate the word all or nothing. A goal is a goal. I like goals, love goals. Everyone should have goals, dreams, aspirations, a vision of what they want their life.

to feel like and look like. But resolutions, this all or nothing thing that like we think that if we like go from zero to a hundred, we're gonna be able to make something sustainable that fits our lifestyle. Or we see someone else doing something and we try and mimic it and we think that it's going to work. That is just crap. It is bull crap. So.

Let me break down why resolutions don't work, how to rethink resolutions and goals, and how to create sustainable habits that actually stick. buckle up, buckle up now. You never know what you're going to get with me, especially coming off being sick. I am probably at like 60 % energy, which is a lot better than I was at the beginning of the week. But this is going to be a good one.

You'll want to pause it, I'm sure, and write some of this stuff down because I found some phrases and things that have helped me in the new year. So nothing is too overwhelming if I do want to try something new. So let's just first break down why resolutions are crap. I said it four times now. Resolutions are crap.

Let's start with the obvious question though, like why do most resolutions fail? And first of all, it's that they're built on this idea that January 1st is some magical day where everything will change for us. That's what the health and fitness industry wants us to think and diets want us to think and all of these things. That this like magical day on January 1st like

If I start something then my entire life will change. And that is crap. Spoiler alert, it's not a day where everything is magically gonna change. And if you weren't motivated to work out or eat better on December 28th and 31st, what makes you think flipping a calendar page to January 1st is gonna suddenly change that?

The second thing is that resolutions are way too vague. How many times have you heard or said, I'm gonna lose weight this year? And you're like, great, that's a great goal. It's not really a goal, because it's not measurable. But how and when and what's the plan to lose weight this year? And most people set these massive undefined goals that are like,

just floating out in space and wonder why they crash and burn. And it's because it's too vague. Like, you're not gonna stick to, it's great to say, it's just not measurable and it's not something that you're actually gonna stick to because you don't have a plan in place to take action. And third, resolutions are based on

external pressure. not and not internal alignment. So everyone's posting their new year new me. I hate that by the way. I don't want to be a new me. I want to be a better me. I don't want to be a brand new me. I like the person that I am. I like where I'm at. And I hate that phrase because it's like, well, no, like, we're not like

We're not being defined, our worthiness is not defined by what we do and don't do. I'm worthy whether or not I lose weight or not, or I'm worthy or not whether I go and travel more this year or not. So the new year knew me, that just needs to go because I feel like

It's something that we're saying that like we're not okay with the way that we are right now. And that's your initial problem that you need to solve because you don't feel like you're enough. So we set these goals that don't even align with what we really want or need because we're saying things like new year, new me and all of these vibes and

It's great to have positive vibes going into the new year. That is not what I'm saying at all. But do they actually align with what you feel inside about yourself? So, I was, this is what happens when I come up with podcast episodes, then all of a sudden, like my brain finds all of these quotes and statistics that support

And that's kind how the podcast episode is created. And I found this statistic online that 80 % of resolutions fail by mid-February. And why? Because of the reasons I just said. They're often unrealistic, they're unsustainable, and they demand this all or nothing perfection. And guess what? Life isn't perfect.

It isn't. It isn't perfect. This week, like I said, I wanted my new year to start out completely different than it did. And I started out sick. And now, like, the new year's here. Does that mean I'm going to give up on all the rest of my goals? Well, I thought about it this week. I'm not gonna lie. I was in a negative mindset and I just didn't, like, I was like,

Well, Jesus, like this is not how I wanted to start the new year, so, essay. But that's a horrible mindset to have. But life is not perfect. And so even though my new year didn't start out like I wanted it to, it doesn't mean it can't be what I want it to now. So life isn't perfect. Which then brings me to my next point here, is the problem with this

all or nothing fixes or quick fixes or things that resolutions bring up is that that all or nothing mindset. And like, you know what I'm talking about. When I say a lot of people go, I'm going to go to the gym every single day when they haven't gone to the gym at all in 2024. And they're like, I'm to go to the gym every single day. Or I'm cutting out sugar completely.

on January 1st and for the whole year. And it sounds great on January 1st, right? When you're full of this motivation and this new year, new me bullshit. But what happens when life gets messy? Like this week, for instance, for me. Or someone passes away, God forbid. Or your life just gets crazy.

and you have a bunch of deadlines at work and are you gonna go to the gym when you're really tired? Are you gonna go, are you gonna take out sugar when it's that time of the month and you're like ugly crying on the bathroom floor? No. And then when life gets messy, you're probably gonna have that sugar and you're probably not gonna go to the gym. or your kid.

wakes up sick. know I have some moms that listen into this. Work runs late and you didn't get your workout in yet and you don't want to push play at 8 p.m. Suddenly that perfect streak that you had in your mind on January 1st is broken and you feel like a failure. So what do you do? You quit. All or nothing mindset. Because if you can't do it perfectly, what's the point, right?

this resolution mindset, I'm telling you, it's detrimental to you keeping your goals and for the new year. So the problem is that all or nothing fixes are built on the idea that if you miss once, you failed. So why does it matter? But life isn't black and white. If it was, then we all would have the answers to everything.

The truth is it's messy. It's unpredictable and real progress though It happens in those gray areas. It happens in those times where those imperfect small actions that you take every day add up and Even and or you give yourself grace if you like I'm trying to give myself grace this week because I was sick and

I was mad because I'm behind on a lot of household things. I helped pets it for my roommate's family while she was gone this week. So like my life like internally is in shambles. I didn't get as much work done this week as I would have liked to, but again, I was sick. so giving myself grace.

and then getting back into it, I did work out today and it felt great. But I gave myself great, I didn't stop working out because I haven't in like a week, I just restarted. And it's just so important to realize that quick fixes don't work long term.

and extreme diets and intense workout programs, those 30 day challenges, they might give you a boost like to get started and that's great. Excuse me. But they're not sustainable. And you end up back at square one feeling worse than ever before. If you end up getting derailed because you're like, if I'm sticking to it,

like this is great and then life happens and you stop and then you're like well F it I have to like what's the point anymore? This like all or nothing thing and this mindset is so important to overcome and know that it matters to take the small inconsistent. The inconsistencies are where

you're gonna thrive. The next point I wanna make is why copying other people's habits doesn't work. And this is tying in comparison again, because this is another trap that people fall into is trying to cope with what, trying to copy, not cope, excuse me, with what someone else is doing.

Like maybe your best friend swears by her 5 a.m. workouts or your coworker is obsessed with meal prepping. That's great for them, are those things gonna be great for you? I mean, you won't know unless you try, but don't do it and then think like everything's gonna work out because you're not them.

and your schedule, your energy levels and the priorities in your life are completely different than what they are in their life. And what works for someone else might not work for you and that's okay. But the key is to find the habits that fit into your life. Not someone else's picture perfect Instagram worthy, perfect routine that they broadcast, but what

works for you. And you can get ideas and inspiration from other people and try it out. But you have to be honest with yourself. Is this something that I'm going to stick to? Does this matter to me? Like, I've been there though. Like, I get this. There's so many different things, especially in the New Year. Like, everyone's like, this is the best thing. You have to do this. This is the best supplement.

this is the best thing, it works for me, like why won't it work for you? And you can try all of these things, but then you have to be honest with yourself. Like is this something that I see working for me? And does it align with my goals? Like I used to think, for instance, I had to do it all. I had to wake up early, I had to start meditating for 30 minutes, I had to eat perfectly.

clean meals, but you know what that wasn't realistic for me at all and Trying to force it only made me feel like I was failing it wasn't until I started building habits that fit my actual life that I started to see real progress and that sometimes in Different that changes in different seasons of life for me sometimes getting my workout in in the morning

before everything else in a certain season of my life worked out. And now I'm kind of just fitting in my movement and workout when willy-nilly, which I need to find an exact time and schedule it. But my schedule changes, so it's not the same every day. And some days I go to work, some days I don't. so it's about finding those habits that fit my life.

and fit your life that you're actually going to create that hell yes life, those hell yes habits for hell yes life. so the way to do that is micro habits. And what are micro habits? These are tiny, like manageable actions that are so simple, they feel almost too easy. But that's the point is that

Those are small habits that you'll actually stick to and you actually want to do. For example, instead of saying, I'm going to drink a gallon of water a day, you start with one glass first thing in the morning. And instead of committing to an hour long workout, start with five minutes of stretching every day. And these small wins, they build on each other. And over time, they create momentum.

and they snowball into bigger changes because you start feeling good, so you're like, should probably do more of this. And then you figure out how to fit it in more and more. But it's those incremental micro habits that I want you to focus on. So, and the magic of those micro habits is they're adaptable. And if life throws you like a curve ball, you can scale them back without feeling like you're.

like having to start over, because that's like what a mindset like trick like that is that you scale them back without feeling like you're starting over. And when you build habits that work for you, that consistency that we want and that people message me about, they're like, how do you stay consistent? It becomes effortless.

with these micro habits because you build upon them and when you don't like utilize them for one day, it's okay because it was so small that you're like, well, I can just do that again tomorrow. Cause I, I it's okay. But it also creates like that's how I created a morning routine that I love with personal development and tea and morning tea.

and brushing my teeth and making my bed and all these little things that are like small wins before I even start my day, before I even pour into everyone else. So what I want you to do is rethink your goals for the new year. So instead of resolutions, resolutions are out. Like kicked to the curb, see you later, like.

We don't want those anymore. And here's what I recommend instead. Pick a theme for the year. I like to do this with the word of the year. So like instead of choosing like a rigid goal, choose a word or phrase that captures how you want to feel. Like balance, growth, ease. Mine this year is intentional. I want to be intentional with every decision I make.

And I want to be intentional with all of the, not only decisions, but my habits. I want to be intentional with the why behind the decisions that I'm making and the habits that I'm creating. And I want to be intentional at work with my growth and learning. so that's just an example.

So pick a theme for the year, a word for the year that captures how you want to feel. Number two, reflect on what worked last year and what didn't. This could be like five minutes of just thinking what habits or routines brought you joy and made you say hell yes or what felt forced or unsustainable and use that insight to guide your focus. And number three, I will say it again and over and over again, start small.

I was like, choose one habit that feels like a hell yes. Something simple, aligned with your values and build on that as you go.

and then remember that it's not about being perfect.

It's about showing up for yourself. And so like even in small ways, every single day, and that's how that lasting change will happen. So all in all, let's ditch New Year's resolutions. Let's call it hell yes habits for a hell yes 2025. And pick one micro habit that feels like a hell yes for you.

and make it yours. Don't make it like a sister or a friend. Try something new, but then tweak it so it works for you and your lifestyle and then put a why behind it that you know makes you feel good. And if you're feeling stuck, I've got your back. As DM me on Instagram, let's brainstorm a habit that fits your life. Or better yet,

join me in growth day, one of my favorite personal development apps that I listen to every day. I will put a link to that in the show notes and really just let's create this 2025 hell yes movement that ditches those effing resolutions because it's not about this all or nothing mindset and

And if you found this episode helpful, I would love to hear from you. I think that everyone needs to hear this message, especially around this time of year when we're being pulled in a million different directions. And so if this episode you think would help a friend, someone looking for guidance in finding goals for the year that fit them, share this episode with them.

and it's free, it's free to share, it's free to listen to. Listen to it multiple times and actually take action here. Find that micro habit that lights you up and tell me about it. I'd love to hear about it. Message me on the podcast and let's, like you were made for more than recycled resolutions. So let's make 2025 your best year yet.

and make it a hell yes for you. Thank you guys.