A Hell Yes Habit: Stop Comparing Yourself to Others & Start Growing YOU

In this episode of Hell Yes Habits, host Elyse Bushard discusses the pervasive issue of comparison and its impact on personal growth and happiness. She shares her personal experiences with comparison, particularly in the context of health and fitness, and emphasizes the importance of focusing on one's own journey rather than measuring against others. Elyse introduces a three-step framework to help listeners stop comparing themselves to others and start celebrating their own progress. The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to embrace their unique journeys and recognize that their only competition is themselves.

Takeaways

• Comparison is a natural human instinct but can be detrimental.
• Social media often exacerbates feelings of inadequacy through comparison.
• Focusing on your own growth is essential for happiness.
• Setting a personal baseline is crucial for measuring progress.
• Tracking small wins can boost motivation and self-esteem.
• Celebrating progress, not perfection, is key to personal growth.
• Using comparison as inspiration can shift your mindset positively.
• Everyone's journey is unique; avoid comparing your chapter one to someone else's chapter ten.
• Self-awareness is vital in recognizing when comparison creeps in.
• You are capable of achieving your own goals without comparing to others.

Transcript

Elyse Bushard (00:00)
Hello everyone, how are you guys? Welcome back to Hell Yes Habits, the podcast where we talk about building a life you are fricking obsessed with one habit at a time. I'm your host, Elise, and today we're diving into a big one, people. We're diving into comparison. And first of all, I just wanna paint a picture for you. It's my birthday, it's my 37th birthday.

This is in real time. I just finished a workout program. I kind of just had a morning to myself. Luckily, the wonderful place that I work for, we can request our birthday off. So I did work a little bit this morning to be totally transparent, just to get everything buttoned up for the week. But then I unplugged and I just had, like, first of all, I slept in. I had a morning to myself and now I...

just finished a workout program. actually do an at home workout program with body. That is actually how I started my whole health and fitness journey with body, with these at home workouts and programs and nutrition. And it honestly was the only thing that kept me consistent when I started out. And so what brings me to this is when I finished my workout,

program, was like, wow, I did amazing. And I started thinking, like, well, why though don't I still like look like these people? And then I stopped myself because comparison was creeping up like it does. And specifically in this episode, I just want to talk about how to stop it's going to be a pretty quick episode. But I want to specifically just talk about how to stop comparing yourself to others.

and focus on comparing yourself to yourself. And I know that's a funny concept, but like, I think it's a reminder that I needed today. So I wanted to share it with you guys, because again, this is in real time. I want this to be a conversation with us, but I also want it to be helpful. And I want it to be helpful of how I became aware of this. And it's a constant battle. And I know it sounds simple, but let's be real.

It's actually not simple to not want to, like, we tend to compare ourselves to everyone in every facet of our life, whether it's our career, my health and fitness example, or just like we're doing the same things, why aren't we getting the same results? it's, especially on social media, I'm just gonna call it out. Like, I catch myself just like scrolling and then my mood shifts, because I'm like,

well, these people are so happy and today I feel like crap and I'm in the funk and it's like social media. It was made to build connections. Like I also work in marketing. I believe in the power of social media for brand building and for everything, but it also can be a trap if you're using it for the wrong reasons. So I used to be someone that

would scroll and I still catch myself scrolling. It's not that I used to be someone. I still catch myself doing it, but it's just being more aware of that. So we've all been there and I'm sure that you can relate at one time or a moment or even right now that you're comparing your right now, your beginning to someone's like day 80 or 105. But here's the deal.

all those comparisons, all those things that we put in our head, they're stealing your joy. They're stealing your happiness. So today, I'm gonna show you how to just flip the script and how I do that in my mind and focus on your own growth and build a hell yes habit of celebrating yourself. So essentially,

let me just ask a question. Why do you think comparison is so, it's so tempting? Why do you think it's something that we tend to do? And really it comes down to, honestly, it's just about human nature. Our brains are wired to look around and figure out how we stack up. It's a survival instinct. We used it to, we used to compare to see if we,

had enough food, resources, or skills to keep up with everyone else. But guess what? This isn't the Stone Age anymore. Surprise, surprise, we're not cavemen anymore. Although, I feel like it would have been a simpler time. Random thought. Now, we're comparing different things, right? So equating that to the size of our abs, or our biceps, the weight.

that we're lifting or how much someone else seems to have all their life together on social media. And by the way, everyone does not have their shit together all the time. They might just show those moments. That's another thing with this podcast. I want it to be real. And I want to tell you that I'm experiencing these things and going through these things. So, and let me tell you, like I've been the girl in the gym

looking at women next to me who seemed like they had it all together quote unquote and or she had a cute like matching outfit like a cute matching outfit in the gym. Her form was perfect and I was just over here hoping I wouldn't fall on my face and balance on my lunges. That is why I started working out from home. I just wasn't consistent at the gym because I wasn't comfortable there.

That's another like random tangent and thought. But during that, like here's the truth and what I learned is that comparison wasn't helping me. It was actually holding me back and distracting me from what I needed to do for me to grow. And so...

Let me get personal, even more personal for a second, is when I got serious about my health and fitness about five years ago now, and by serious I mean I found at home workouts and it was just the thing that fit into my day. I happened to be working from home. was something that I could finally stay consistent with and felt comfortable working out at the size that I was. And I was obsessed though with

trying to look like someone else. Someone I followed on Instagram or someone in a movie or TV show or someone in the... in the... someone in the ethers, if you will. That doesn't make sense. Someone in the...

Yeah, like the people I followed on Instagram, I'd screenshot their workout routines, their meal plans, and I told myself if I could just look like them and do exactly what they do, I'd be happy. And I'd look like them and we'd get the same results. But guess what? I'm not anyone else, and you're not anyone else. My body wasn't built like this person I was looking at. I wasn't on the same journey she was.

I was running a completely different race, but I was trying to copy someone else's playbook. And all it did was leave me, leaving me feel defeated. Like I wasn't enough. And why isn't it working for me? And honestly, I was just asking the wrong questions. There's asking like, why is this not working for me? And then there's also asking why, like what can I do?

like different or what can I tweak because my body doesn't move like that or I'm not lifting those weights but maybe I can go lower in my squats. So like this is just a concrete example of health and fitness because I feel like everyone can relate to that in some way. so it wasn't until though on my journey

I started getting results and feeling strong in my own body is when I started just tracking my own progress, like taking pictures of me, writing down my workouts and checking them off, like if I'm doing a program and celebrating those small wins, like running, like for example, if you're a runner, I am not personally a runner. I admire runners and I think

It looks like an escape, but I am not personally a runner. But if you're a runner, like running a mile without stopping, that's a lot. So I just started focusing on what I could do and comparing myself to myself. So Elise to Elise. And not looking, maybe I'm looking at others, but I'm not being like, I wish I was them. There's a difference there. And...

what I started to make was real progress on my health and fitness journey. And I mentioned this because as I told you, I just finished a workout today. I just finished a program today. And I was like, wow, like I was not able to do that many pushups. And the girls doing the program got a lot more pushups than I did that weren't modified. I did a few on my, that were regular pushups, some that were modified.

But like, I was not able to do that four weeks ago when I started this program. And instead of being like, I'm not as good as them, I was like, wow. And I celebrated that and I started tearing up and I was like, I did that. And so that's a main shift. And I always go to that health and fitness because I feel like all of us can relate to that. We tend to compare ourselves, but like the truth is your body is not

going to be capable of doing the exact same thing and looking the exact same way as someone else's body. So you have to do it for you and you have to celebrate those small wins along the way. So, but how you're asking me now, but how do you stop? Like, is there tactical things that you do to stop comparing yourself to others and start comparing to you? And here is my like three steps.

I came up with kind of like a framework that I wanted to share with you as far as a three-step hell yes habit, if you will, to help. And really, it comes back to you. And it's things that I kind of mentioned in that example. So you want to set your baseline. That's number one. You want to set your baseline. So you can't measure your growth if you don't know where you started.

And this can be examples of this would be like in the health and fitness, like taking progress pictures, jot down how you feel after you work out or even just know your energy levels. Like after I work out, I feel like sometimes I can flip a car or a building because I have so much energy. Again, that's science too, but your brain is like releasing endorphins and you're ready to take on the day.

probably why I'm talking so fast at you. But, I have all this energy and, but measuring that and being like, I want that feeling again. That is also something to track. And even just like, this is your baseline though. Like I can't ask my best friend what her baseline number of pushups was when she did and like,

make that my baseline. I have to do it myself and make my own baseline, not someone else's. Number two, so number one was set your baseline. Number two, track your wins. I'm telling you, it might sound ridiculous, but like having a checklist, tracking habits that you are building, but tracking those wins, the small wins.

So like today, I was like, I finished a workout program. That's a big thing. But also I focused on the little things like, my gosh, I did this many pushups. did like, and you can do this at work too. You can like each time you finish a project or you pause and you celebrate like that the client was happy or you.

you literally didn't know how to do something and you figured it out because everything is figure outable. But like big or small, they all count. Like, did you drink more water today? Celebrate that. Did you show up when you didn't feel like it at home, at work, in your workout? Write it down. I like to call this my hell yes win list, if you will. So every time I check something off,

This is like a little high five to myself or give yourself a high five in the mirror. This might sound ridiculous, but Mel Robbins has a whole book about this. It's about like giving a high, it's a high five habit and you give yourself a high five in the mirror and it will shift your mood because you're celebrating you in a small way or a big way, whatever you want to. Again, so set your baseline as the number one, track your wins.

Number three and the last one is celebrate progress. Not perfection. Perfection, excuse my French, is bullshit. There is no perfection. It's a myth. Progress is the goal. Maybe you're not running marathons or lifting crazy heavy weights yet, but if you're doing better than you were last week,

or even hell yesterday. That's a hell yes moment. So be sure to celebrate it. So one, set your baseline. This is your baseline, not someone else's. Two, track your wins. And three, celebrate your progress, not perfection.

So here's the, like, really the mindset shift, like, applying all of that. Here's the mindset shift that helped me a ton. When you see someone who's farther ahead, instead of thinking, why can't I be like her? Try thinking, wow, she's proof that it's possible. And that's what I started looking at, like trainers or.

even people in workout programs that are just like me and you aren't like celebrity trainers or even going to a workout class. Like going to a workout class is so inspiring because there's people just like me that make me accountable, push me harder. And I'm like, well, if they can do it, I can do it. And the most motivation is when you see like an 80 year old grandma running laps or going faster than you on something, you're like,

If she can do that, I can literally do that. So like, you can use comparison as a tool instead of something that holds you back and really cripples you. So use that as inspiration, not a reason to feel bad about where you're at. Because honestly, here's the truth. We all have different goals, different bodies, different journeys.

So comparing your chapter one to someone's chapter 10 or 101 isn't fair to you. It's like judging a book when you've only read the cover or the introduction or the prologue or whatever it's called. I need to read more books. I listen to more books than I read, fun fact about me. So what does all that mean? Okay, so all right. So here's your homework, yep.

I'm giving you homework on the Hell Yes Habits podcast because we wanna get better. That's why we're listening to this podcast. So I want you to take five minutes today to write down your baseline in a goal that you have. So what's one thing you can measure right now, whether it's your energy levels, how you feel in your clothes, or how many pushups you can do? Or like a project at work.

like maybe you can be better at asking more curious questions. And then I want you to write down one win from the past week. I want you to get in a habit of doing that every week. It could be anything. It could be showing up to a workout, eating a balanced meal, or even just prioritizing your sleep. And then document like how that makes you feel.

So that the next time you catch yourself comparing, pause, take a breath and say, she's running her race and I'm running mine. Let me repeat that because I feel like that was a mic drop moment. She's running her race or his race if you're comparing yourself to someone else and I'm running mine. So be okay being like,

Wow, that's amazing. You can still be like, wow, that's amazing that she's doing that. But don't let it hinder you because she's running her race and we're running our own race. You're running your own race.

I know that was a lot and I kind of, think I made this longer than I wanted to, but I feel like it was so important to say because as I'm going through shit and as I'm going through something that I feel like needs to be heard, that's what I want this podcast to be. So listen, you're not on a journey that's uniquely yours.

You are on a journey that's uniquely yours. Your only competition is the person you were yesterday. And when you stop comparing to others and start celebrating your own growth, that's when you step into a hell yes life. So keep showing up, keep celebrating the little wins, and remember you were made for more.

Until next time, I'm Elise and this is Hell Yes Habits. Let's keep building those habits that make you say, Yes.

If you found this episode helpful, please, please let me know. And the only way that this podcast will show up for other people, and again, I'm not monetizing this in any way. At least I haven't even thought about that. This is literally to, because it's something I've always wanted to do, build a community around high vibe people that are ready to grow and

So if this helped you in any way, tag me on Instagram at Elise Bashard. You can see that in the show notes. And let me know what resonated with you or what you're going through that maybe we can navigate together because as I said, I'm going through this as well. And I want this to be helpful, but I also wanted to spark conversation and spark shifts in your mindsets and...

So yeah, until next time, I'm Elise and this is Hell Yes Habits. Let's keep building those habits that make you say, Hell Yes.